I am a published poet and writing poetry is my therapy. I have a lot of issues that I struggle with on a daily basis. I have trust issues I have learned that I can trust no one and sometimes I don't trust myself. I personally prefer to be alone because when I am alone no one can hurt me and I rarely allow myself to get close to anyone nor do I allow any one to get close to me. I often push people away because my perception of love and affection don't hold the same meaning as most people experience it. I suffer from severe depression called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that grew inside me like a cancer when I was just a little girl who was physically and mentally abused by my alcoholic / drug addict mother. I don't believe I have to draw you a picture of what love and affection bestowed upon me being raised in a world where love meant pain and pain defined love. When pain and love become one in the same. I learned to accept that not because I acquired a taste for it, because the anticipation of that pain was more unbearable than the actual pain itself.
I battle a personal war within each day facing my demons that sometimes strangles the life from me where I drown daily in my dark despair and sometimes my thoughts get the best of me.
I also suffer from Anxiety and insomnia and the memories that comes rushing emotionally cripples me. I often find music that recognizes my pain inspiring me to write my story from the music that inspires me. I escape from my grave reality of my past that shackles me to get lost in my music.
I am also a Wiccan I believe in harming none and loving all living things.
It was said that when you choose to reveal your story it no longer belongs to you it belongs to every one else and you lose control of your darkness and that through time your scars will fade when you begin to heal. But how can scars fade when they are embedded in some cases scars are in your mind and some are on the body and some like me am deeply scarred inside and out. Scars just don't fade away no matter how much you heal you carry them for life because time doesn't heal it just lingers on in your memories of sorrows past.