death isn’t final

In all my days
I've never felt so completely, and utterly alone
It's like, once death is near
Everyone love, is suddenly gone

My days used to be filled, with such laughter and glee
Till I found out I was dying, liver failure
Way back in Oct 2016

Never wanted to hurt people's feelings
Or in any kinda way steal their joy
Seems like the more I try and prepare them for it
The more they treat my heart, like a toy

I never knew by being spiritually inclined
And giving my troubles and soul to God
Would make everyone turn their backs to me
Stabbing my soul with a steel rod

I live my days in peace and comfort
Knowing my souls going to heaven
Yet my hearts always ao heavy on the tormented souls of dear loved ones
Who really need prayer and deliverance

Never knew one person's dying battle
Could cause so much confusion and pain
To make my love and my mother
Keep stabbing me in the back with a sharp, long steel knife

All I was trying to do
Was finish my days having fun
Cause good days are getting more further and few
That I rarely can get out to see the beautiful sun

They think I don't love my kids
Or that they're not always on my mind
Truth is I've already prepared their hearts and souls
To be at ease once I cross over to make it to see heavens silver and gold shine

Aee the bond I have with my 5 babies
4 of my own and my special little niece
We share such an unbreakable, undying love
Not even death, or humans can cause our hearts defeat

Its so wonderful and amazing
How such tiny little people
Have more knowledge, wisdom, and strength
That their great and vast minds
Knows no boundaries, not any lengths

All 6 of us our spiritual beings
Connected on a different plane
We just think on one another
And out the window, goes all our sorrow and pain

I love my babies so very much
That my last dying wish
Is to keep them this summer
Without being so frail and so sick

They know I ain't got long
Maybe a month or two
But none of us our worried
Cause where my soul rests, their's will follow, too

I'll never understand, how my children are so brave
They can never see their mom or hear my sweet loving voice
Yet they put real smiles on every single day
And fill everyone else's hearts with laughter and joy

Staying away from me, only pains their hearts
While all the elders are feeling down in dismay
When my soul finally makes it home
DO NOT go to my children, with y'alls sorrow and pain

They know the love and wisdom
I instilled in their souls
They don't need y'alls spiritually incorrect being going to then
Because all y'all are going to do us steal their love and innocence
Making their hearts have a gaping hole

My kids are my own very legacy
Through them my love and soul will soar
Please don't steer them from God
Leaving their hearts cold, bitter, and sore

Just cause I'm leaving this ungodly painful flesh
Gods already prepared us a place
With Angel's singing and mermaids swimming
With beautiful tails and Pearl's around my neck

Remember one thing about me, if you don't anything else
That when I turned fully to God and gave him my all
My soul and spirit vibrated higher
Spiritually, I'm standing firm, healthy and strong
So stop 2orrying and stressing over the inevitable
Instead start praying and really start LOVING who you are
Cause when you love yourself, you will KNOW God
And he will take you to unknown placew afar

Then you will finally see and understand why we hold no grief
Ita because Gods delivered us and showed us many great things
The frequency we're on, is so high and beauti fully
We see vast new vibrant colors
And understand the very songs a blue Jay sings

Why don't you look up to the stars
As I instructed all my children to do
And watch them twinkle violet and blue
Imagine flying next to them
What would you do

We would look at them twinkling
And imagine us all on a ship soaring high
That it opened their minds
To the secrets of the universe far and wide

Never think their innocence
Makes the meek or fragile
Cause the Lord aaysstay humble
And keep your heart and soul as that of a child's

I love you all dearly, as I prepare to leave this awful, ungodly place
Don't cry when I'm gone, or
Be saddened in your hearts
Just look yo the stars, the heavens
And our souls will never part

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