Renee Bradford

You're gone and I can't accept the reality of the matter.
I try my best to cry as the days passed by, but the tears simply wouldn't drop.
Instead I'm forcing myself to smile and go on about my day.
Pretend that the pain can simply be pushed to the side even when it hurts.
I'm slowly getting back around to the things I used to do while you were living.
Except I stop every now and then as your name races across my mind.
And just like that, my heart breaks all over again from losing my best friend.

You left too early since we talked about the future together since we were teenagers.
You were going to get married to the love of your life while I struggle to find mine.
You had planned everything to detail and everyone you knew was excited, including myself.
I remember all of the conversations we had talking about the dress and location.
The days kept passing on as your search continued for the perfect fairytale wedding.
But that came to a stop once you started getting ill from various health reasons.
I was hoping you were getting better so we could talk and joke like we always did.
Except now the last message I have on my phone was me wishing you well since I missed you.

The day I found out the news of your passing, I cried until I couldn't breathe.
My chest hurt since my entire world shattered at that moment and I didn't want to believe.
I thought it was a joke until I saw the source then reality had hit me in full force.
I had lost my world, my confidant, my voice of reason, my everything that built me up over the years.
I didn't just lose a best friend, but I lost someone who was family to me.
You were always there to ease my chaotic mind and we had gone through almost everything together.
I was in the room when you gave birth to your daughter, you were over my place when my heart was broken.
There's so much more I can list that I can write a book about all of the whirlwind adventures we had.
It's just not enough that a couple of lines in this poem can tell our life story that we shared.
We were each other's support system even when I was extremely busy with work since it consumed my life.
And now I have to face the fact that I'll no longer get a text message from you or hear your voice.
I won't be able to talk to you about my day or hear about how well your little girl was doing in school.
I won't be able to have those hour long conversations we used to have like when we were teenagers.
I won't get to have you around once I finally find my happiness in love since I know you said I deserve the best.
It's just not fair that you're gone, taken away from all of those who loved you deeply with all of our heart.

I remember you always wanted me to write a poem about you, but I hate the fact it took your passing to do so.
There are days where I wished I had written one sooner so I can hear your feedback on whether you loved it or not.
Since I knew you always encouraged me, along with others, to keep writing in the style I had chosen that fit me.
Now I'll never get a text, call, or notification on Facebook wondering who the poem was about or to check if I was okay.
Life is never going to be the same without you by my side and I can't picture how the world can keep going as I finally mourn.

I love you, Renee Bradford, and I thank you for filling my life with lots of laughter and love.
I miss you every single day that passes on and I hope we get to see each other again one day.

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This poem is about my best friend in the entire world who passed away on 7/31/2018 and we laid to rest on 8/7/2018. I read this poem at her funeral which was the hardest thing to do without crying since I was in tears while writing this.