The Inauguration of my Insecurities

The inauguration of my insecurity had occurred the day I learned what I was capable of

However, this insecurity within me had subsided only to surface in the days to come

I began to accomplish myself as the person I aspired to be and loved

Yet this dream of being the best at everything I did seemed to pop! like my bubble gum

The contemplation of my aspirations only led me to reach a little higher than the sky

Little did I know that my aspirations had transitioned into becoming compulsions

My thoughts had become as discombobulated as the traffic that would slowly pass by

And this chaos only built up to make my mind a playground of confusion

Here lay my brain that had absorbed every ounce of stress

The comparison of my brain to a piece of cotton was oh too relevant to miss

There was no weight to this stress that this “piece of cotton” had absorbed

It was as insignificant as the things that don’t exist

Every morning would incorporate the thought of maintaining my grades

I can only assume the amount of feelings I once felt that now began to fade

My hands lingered to check whether or not I had a sufficient GPA

As if this was all life had to offer and honestly, I felt betrayed

My hands played the right notes for what had seemed like the first time in forever,

Maybe my future lay in the way my hands maneuvered my drumsticks
Every beat that I had adjusted to expressed my endeavors

However this ability of mine had only fueled my internal conflicts

For every basket that I had failed to make

For every shot that I had failed to return

I realized the amount of reliance that was at stake

I realized the amount of people to whom it would actually concern

There are memories that I have captured so clear

Yet the moments I live in couldn’t have been more blurry

My camera is my only weapon that many tend to fear

The possibility of my scattered thoughts flashing in a moment of white light is why I worry

The constant beating of my heart made me acknowledge my existence

It was as if the chaos of my mind had eradicated the sensation of my being

My journey of self discovery will remain to continue in the name of persistence

For all I know now is that I couldn’t have been happier to see the sights I am seeing

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