To the apology that never came
Maybe not all beautiful love stories are meant to have a well deserved ending.
Just like a cliff hanger from the movies, my love story is like this with full of questions and what ifs.
I often generate theories and hypothesis why you did not even bother or have the guts to talk to me.
My hypothesis results has always been a rejection with a not.
As time goes by, I lived with this theories and hypothesis trying to deceive me with the possible answers for my questions.
And the more it gets longer, the more the extend of detriment of the wounds he left woe me.
I tried to escape and live my own life.
I find the comfort and space without you living in the new environment that i built.
However, fate plays too well and we met once again.
The chapter of my life with you that i cast, is opened once again.
With uncertainty of amends and linger, haunts me every night.
I tried my best to keep myself busy and lived my life.
But, desensitization is not effective and the more it got worst.
And now, i want to apologize for myself.
For crying again and staying human, experiencing anguish.
The things that travail me must stop now.
Killing this love left, expectations and hopes.
And I want to chose myself and finally be free.
I will not torture myself waiting for your amends that will never came.
Because you are a cold-hearted, insensible and virulent person that pique me.
I will stop thinking the good in you and look at the real picture that you don't deserve me.
I will keep it on my mind how impeccable and acrimonious you are.
You dont deserve to be loved and taken care of.
And I will let karma does it job and watch it soon on front seat view how you left me unaided.
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How someone feels after being ghosted despite for being nice and loving.