15 years to the day

It's coming up on 15 years to the day,
Sadness and grief is what we have to pay.
Harder for me this year than years before,
It seems I've shed tears so much more.

The pain, anger and depression is real,
I don't want to hear "I know how you feel."
A rock I've been for those dearest to me,
but I'm the one who now has to cry and scream.

You were my brother and I loved you so,
You did not mind having your little sister in tow.
You and I were close and that was great,
But why did you feel that you had to test fate?

You had so many chances but just didn't learn,
The heartache and emptiness- oh how it burns.
I wish you would've taken a different path in life,
But it's something that no one can now make right.

I have to trust that it was simply your time,
Our lives forever changed- at the drop of that dime.
Up in heaven you'll be forever young and free,
I take solace in knowing that you'll be waiting for me.

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