23


These Past 22 aint' been so good to me.
One through five are a breeze.
Emotional paradise, Child-like wonders.
Full of the blissful ignorance I'll only have as a child.
Six through eight mostly are great.
Except she doesn't love me like she should.
A sneaking suspicion that maternal love isn't always guaranteed.
intermittent sadness that can do nothing but add up.
Nine through eleven, i can't get it right.
I'm not so cute anymore, I'm in an awkward phase.
Not yet old or young enough for them to care.
I do everything wrong, I try to be perfect.
Then the bottom falls out.
I get the wind knocked out of me, Emotional TKO.
Twelve to fourteen I'm reeling.
Abandonment issues i bury six feet under.
Ever present Paternal love falls off the radar.
Maternal anger that sees my fathers Face in my own.
Except I can't figure that out, at least for now.
So I'm confused, I become so emotionally independent.
I become unstable.
I'm really good at hiding, it's what i do best.
Soon it becomes a blur.
Fifteen to eighteen is a mixed bag.
Most days are good, but the bad days are worse than anything.
Some days I'm so happy i can fly.
Other days the only thing to do is cry.
I have lots of friends, but they don't know me.
Cause to know me in the sun, isn't to know me in the rain.
Little by little people disappear, i don't want them.
To want them is to lose them.
Nineteen to twenty one is a blast.
Maybe a little too much fun.
I don't love myself like i should, but i don't care.
Then i give up the only person that would have ever truly loved me.
Twenty two was when the bottom fell out.
Too far gone, Not gone enough for my liking.
Tried to Fix things i couldn't, in the wrong way.
God had another plan for me.
Or at least that's what i need to believe.
Twenty two hasn't been good.
A day before twenty three and in a year i don't know where I'll be.

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