53 days

last night i saw your name and
then your profile appeared
which was exactly what i feared.
it brought me to a pain that i hadn't felt
in 53 days.

my chest felt heavy
my heart began to ache
my stomach shrunk
and tears streamed down my face.

these 53 days had gone by
without dismay.
i had stuffed you
in the back of my head
and in a corner of my heart.

but now you’ve surfaced
back up to the top
and just thinking about you
makes my heart drop.

i had told myself i didn’t need you.
i had told my self i didn’t love you.
for 53 days
i thought i forgot you.

but as i lay on this floor
i realize you have me.
i feel like i cant breathe.
i feel like i don’t belong here.

i need you here to make me feel safe
your arms surrounding me for days.
i'd like to think you miss me too.
i hope you mean the words you told me,
as you held me at 2 in the morning.

I think I'll need another
53 days
To try and give it my best
and forget what we had one day.

53 days - ahtziri yamile 91317

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This Poems Story

as i wrote this poem, i thought about social media and how you still keep seeing your ex pop up after you breakup