A Career With You In My Bed

National crisis
Oh... for the love of hollows
We're having a national crisis
Amounting to fat flies of national crises
The flies are fat, cause they're simply euphemisms for "piles"
"Piles" are inappropriate to be used explicitly
Cause they sound too much like "bile"
Bile is a bad thing
Buying is a bad gift
"Buying and Selling" is a religious spirit
Religion is a norm
The market is a necessity
Buying is a prestigious act, only when it respects the financial limits of the actor
Selling is commendable only when it preserves the reputation of the producers
I'm distributing goodness in packs of silliness
I'm arranging saltiness in the guise of nakedness
Fornication is funny; let's lick this honey
Let's know it's sunny, cause funky forks go horny
The first day I listened to Beyonce's "Partition", I jumped up
I gave birth to a labor room, creating room for a neighbor
If I'm a sexy house wife, then I know my stuff
And not going to college becomes a choice on my part
And whenever my husband sits on top of me, he's subjecting himself to my power
My father has no business in this
If you want to marry me, then muster enough self-respect to approach me directly
Why consult the Pastor first when it's me you're in love with?
When did I become a position in the Church Work Force?
Forget it boy, you're not serious about me
If you want to be my groom
Our foundation should be private
That we might have a private married life thereafter
I was educated in the zone of confidentiality
Please respect the values inculcated in me by my educational background
Don't drag your sisters into this
Or you'll lose me and lose me for life in your life and in mine
It's okay to tell your best friend; he's just one person; he's not any person
Don't worry, if he approaches me too
I'll choose you anyways, depending on your level of handsomeness
You don't need to have money for two
Simply have enough money to cater for yourself, while earning enough public respect
As your sisters know, I am iconic for financial excellence
If you're smart, then smart genes run in your family
Smartness is however not my criterion for prosperity; my criterion is serious-mindedness
I'll be keeping my father's name, all the same, our relationship status would be public
Hence, to stay in a relationship with me, warn your sisters to earn graduate degrees
If anything, for the sake of my reputation
One more thing,
You'll be doing the Birth Control Shopping while I sit home nourishing myself
Relaxing in foreshadow of the kids for whom we would hire nannies to nurse
Remember I have an Academic and a Literary career (I'm busy)
And of course, a career with you in my bed

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The laments of a woman who views the reality of joggling family with ambition. This poem is composed and operated by the Author of "I Call My Sexuality My God: My Shampoo and My Watermelon Juice": Victoria Ifeolu.