A Heavy Day

Today would be a heavy day. We started at 2:30, in the
darkness. I could hear the water lap against the boat,
not see it. There were stacks of full traps to unload,
huge bins of ice to move, machinery to fix.
We set about our work with little talk, the
sounds of a straining forklift and men grunting under
heavy loads were muffled by a dense veil of humidity.
The air matched my mood. There wasn't enough money.
Would I be able to keep this house of cards balanced on
fingertips going for another month? Deadlines
penetrated by waking thoughts, stabbing into my brain.
Past due, overdue, pay now, all biting at my heels,
all so frustrating and all so useless. When sleep
would come to me my dreams were riddled with this
racing worry even as my body would succumb to a
days labor. And then this morning. A small crack in
this fissure. A small release of pressure that erupts
a torrid of thanksgiving. There are still many
struggles ahead but today, on this day all is well and
thank God! I leap now from boat to dock, from truck
to boat. My strength is renewed, I am reinvigorated
with hope, with energy, with love. I now push harder,
pull with more force, grip my work with a strength born
from God's love. My voice is caught between laughing
and despair. Laughing at my despair and crying for joy
that I am not alone, that all will be well. That today is not
A heavy day because He is always with me...

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