A Man’s Overcoming

Day one;
I awoke in a dreary state
curiosity on my mind
and a sweet sensation burning in my blood
I conversed with the walls
discovered a gold mine of dreams
moved in on my prey with stealth-like devotion
found out what a breath of clarity means
and a truth waiting on the horizon
So, in spite of my convictions
I still sent post cards in my head to my long lost friend, make-believe
before setting out towards sunset skies
of crushed up dreams and bitter goodbyes
I could never forget what you said about all the tragic stories you wrote to yourself in bed
it still feels like you've been around
though you were robbed by every heart in town made of stone
I still can't say I'd do anything for you
this time, I set out for something less engaging
a journey into a lost world
with immunity of falling victim to such a entity
This morning, I awoke in a dreary state
in search of a part of myself I would not hate

Day two;
As I began my exploration to nothing,
I was plagued by a visual exploit, I believe they call 'memory'
deeply perplexed, I ventured back to the day
where secrets slept and fears came alive
you and I met somewhat strangely
an exchange of poison words on a balcony
your eyes begged "look at me" with a bushel of desperation
but I could not tear myself away from your liquid life support scars
Always so tense and alarmed
while posing fluent addresses of an intent to self harm
Little did I know your advice put me to a test
that I might care and find salvation for such a wreck
I think I passed though I also failed
because I fell in love with that girl
we'd lay beneath rain storms and she'd let me know when she cried
I'd hold her while she wept and whisper "Sleep well, butterfly."
these times were beautiful but they also hurt me, you see
but that is a secret well kept in reality
though I will admit that I could never regret her bright eyes
For she would teach me a great lesson in strife
of how not to save a lover's life

Day three;
The memories subsided a bit
as I tried to focus on the fairies ahead of me
but a quote resided in my mind
"Never leave a friend behind."
In anger, I retorted loud in disgust
"You never mean a thing to me," as if she were an act of lust
and I coaxed myself with the lie, hidden in plain daylight
If it helps to kill the pain, I told myself
so in my head, I dubbed her make-believe
and let her take the form of a monster
The thing about monsters though is that they hate confinement
although I was confident she was trapped without a lock or key,
my bitter past caught up with me
she took on a form most terrifying
ravaged me until I could not sleep
shouting things like, "Why would you shut me out like we never happened?"
"How dare you forget about me?"
To a point, she was right
but I was just an ignorant fool
and chose to leave her instead holding onto her memory
instead of mourning, I decided to hate
was it wrong to hate a person lost to fate?
She gave me a taste of how it felt to be left behind
gave me reason to regret my misguided way of healing

Day four;
I think I've had enough time
to figure this all out
my story was more flawed than I originally thought
She showed me the truth
in a dream sequence I didn't ask for
taking me back to the miserable day
that she decided to give her life away
contemplated suicide.
my heart ached for resolution and maybe God
but as I remembered the pain, I also recalled something I missed before
Those faces in the crowd that smirked at her funeral
perhaps they had known something I hadn't
maybe they were the cause behind the flood
that had taken my love and rubbed it in the mud
All this time, I was angry at you
but now I knew the cold truth
you didn't commit suicide
It was all a lie
I saw those faces, how jealous they were of you
to my surprise, the dream rang true
How could I ever had made a mockery of my only good memory?
I failed to believe the image I made you out to be
Now my journey is now at rest
for I had gained light in the darkness that was shed
Now I could live, but never forget

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