A Painful Fear

I still remember the days.
You'd be there.
Nor for help or company, only to bring pain upon my already defected.
So I thought, just maybe he enjoys it.
Just maybe he loves it.
Just maybe,
He wants to shatter me like the broken beer bottles in his room.
Being broken wasn't easy.
Remembering the markings wasn't always comforting.
Yet still, he left me.
Leaving me too bleed out as if I am an ocean of red.
Slowly poring out, only to slowly lose my mind.
Because I haven't left my pain behind,it consumes me like wildfire.
As the pain is in front of me, the scars are still upon me.
Memories vastly passing through, as if it was faster than light.
Causing me to only catch a glimpse, even so I suppose.
I'd still wonder, how did seeing my pain feel?
Even better, how did seeing my fear feel?
Looking through my dark eyes. Going through my darkest hours.
Water slowly rolling down my cheeks.
As the pain came in harder only as my screams grew louder.
The agony was overwhelming, pleading for it all to end.
Yet I still wonder, why are you still smiling?
All my pain being caused by him.
Destroying me in every way he knew best.
Yet only noticing I am worthless without him, or I am lost with him.
Causing nothing but a painful fear I suppose.

Yet just maybe. Just maybe, it was all meant to be.

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