A Sacrifice for Love
It’s a deep-set pain I feel running through my veins,
That rusty blade calls my name...
This type of pain—it starts in my heart, and becomes the art of the scars of the past on my wrists.
But I’m living it again, so a revisit that blade insists...
Though I resist, I still just want to slit open and rip out that suffocating hurt from within.
But as I go to, my heart resists...
It’s that little promise ring twinkling in the moonlight to catch my eye.
It reminds me of the love you promised in exchange for mine.
So I couldn’t follow through...
Only because hurting me just hurts you...
You ask how I feel, but I keep the truth underneath,
Either I force lies right through my teeth,
Or I don’t speak...
Instead I close the door on my feelings in hopes of sparing yours.
I do this to keep you happy, no matter whatever I’m going through, because I rather that than living without you...
So it becomes code words in my head
Every no meaning YES
Every yes meaning NO
Because I can’t let it show
I have to hide
To silently suffer
Use your sweatshirt to muffle my cries, wipe my eyes
I never imagined that this could ever be
That type of love where I’d jeopardize my emotional honesty
What you can tolerate is what I came to be
All in hopes of you finding favor...in me