A slice of life

I'm trying to be ok, fighting through the pain, just wanna feel the same, like I did before, God I know you closed the doors, I pried them open with too much force.. it wasn’t what you wanted for me. Sometimes I learn the hard way, but that’s easiest for me

So much has changed , wish my heart would die away,
Ever feel like your drowning but your not even under water? Like my life for starters... I had a bad father and I lost my mother.

Sometimes I just wanna die, I just lay there and start to cry, all these maybes and all these whys , can't seem to get everything out of my mind.

Like why did he leave, when he’d said he stay? Why wasn’t childhood lived the right way? From foster care, to other there... in the end I lost the care.. there’s still somedays it’s hard to share.

Why was her life better then mine? Why does it seem that he doesn’t have to try? But I’m just on the outside looking in maybe it’s all just pretend?

Why didn’t that guy treat me right... although I swear I did everything right? I fell to hard, way to fast I told him I loved him and he went and packed..

when will I ever learn... that loves not given it’s only earned... but we all fall for the love we think we deserve

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This Poems Story

A bit of my past, mixed in with a boy whom I loved but left