A work in progress

“You abandoned me” that’s such an awful phrase
Especially when you say it to the little girl you raised
I don't know if I can do this anymore
Not speaking to you, I was attempting to close a door
But instead my depression came back with vengeance
I'm starting to get the feeling you were there for me only when convenient

Now 6 months later, you’re living in my home
I feel like you finally understand how it feels to be alone
Although I see you everyday
You will never be able to fix the brokenness inside of me
You really screwed with my head
Did you know at night-
I don't feel safe in my very own bed
You pointing out my flaws doesn't help either
to this day, I ask myself “he won't like it anyway, why even bother?”

It's hard enough growing up in a broken home
But now I’m left to deal with the problems it created, all on my own
You know, it’s sad, a 13 year old girl feeling completely alone
But how couldn’t she? Not many other teens have an abusive dad that left to be on his own
Your actions affected Joe and I more than you think
Ever since you left, our sense of trust has seemed to shrink
I know I can only speak for myself,
But it seems as though our happiness is on a high, unreachable shelf

My heart has turned dull
My pain gauge permanently full
Am I really to blame-
for not wanting to be apart of your confusing, tiring game
Dad, I don't think you understand
I tried being the brave one at hand
But, finally, I realized I'm driving myself insane
It's not my fault I don't want to play this little game, where my tragic loss is your successful gain

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