Love radiates off this photograph like sunrays.
Subtle smile on your lips, eyes casted down,
You look at me like I am the center of your universe.
I can't remember your voice. My one-year-old ears
Didn't understand the gravity of the situation.
I can't remember looking at you.
My one-year-old eyes didn't know you
Weren't going to be there to see my next birthday.
I miss you even though I don't know what I'm missing.
You're like an invisible black hole consuming parts of me
I didn't know existed. You were a supernova,
Exploding in our faces, only I was too young to see.
Over and over again, I have mourned a father
I don't even know. Over and over again,
I have been jealous, jealous of all the other people
With fathers, a type of love I don't remember or know.
Over and over again, I have gotten so an gry
I've screamed louder than a sonic boom.
With your love so stellar, they called me
Daddy's little girl, I was left in this cold dark space
I call home. On my wedding day, I will have a substitution
Walk me down the isle while most others have real.
I can't say I wish I knew it was coming, because
I wouldn't have understood. I do wish you knew
So you could have left me closure.
Is that unfair of me?
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