Addiction


I hope one day you become addicted to loving yourself
like love is the anecdote, too, not just the poison.
Not enough marijuana could help you forget the pleasure
felt when your name rolls off his lips
like it's attached to some sort of promise.
Adderall can't help you focus any more than willing to do so.
You replace emptiness with artificial euphoria
as if it came in a bottle you could purchase at a drug store.
When finding the strength to recover
you do it for yourself
and not for the people who hate to see you ill;
they're ultimately trying to resist being contaminated by weakness.
You have to recover twice, once from the disease
and once from the medicine.
You wear perseverance like a scar
that does not mark itself as romanticized cruelty anymore
than a idea formulated by someone who just doesn't understand.
We always keep in mind all the things
we wish to eradicate within ourselves.
Sure we can make room for change
but starting from scratch like you've never been broken
isn't the only way to manifest a person you forever longed to become?
You can't escape the person you were meant to be,
not with the kind of drugs you find on the streets.
You didn't realize the drugs with two lungs and a heartbeat
are deadlier than poison synthesized to kill.
Sometimes the only way you can keep people alive
is to have a beating heart.

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