Almost Followed Through

I say i’m depressed, I can’t do this anymore but no one hears me
And then I realize I’m not speaking out loud I’m home alone crying on the floor
They say i'm as quiet as mouse to the point where they almost forget me
They say i'm always in my room but that's just my personality
In reality it's not my personality it’s the depression inside of me
Somehow they don't see my pain but they’ve felt it once before
They’ve gotten to the point were they felt they couldn’t do it anymore
And so have I
And now I know it’s true hurt people do hurt people
It feels like i'm trying to climb a steep hill
But I fall and I fall again
I wanted them to know what I was feeling but I couldn’t confess
When I do try to speak up they hear me but they drain my words from their heads
I thought they would ask me if I was okay and at times they did and I would think and the only word that would come to mind was yes
I knew I wasn’t telling them the truth
I only said it because I felt so many emotions that I couldn’t express
Through it all the emotion I felt the most was neglect
I thought they could see my pain through the expression on my face
But when they where going through it I didn’t see it either
So I understand that aspect
But why not ask me why I stay in my room by myself all day or why I don’t eat as much as I used to
What they don’t know even though they’ve been through it is that,
At one point in all of this depression shit I had a plan and I was ready to leave this Earth with a message
“I'm sorry I did this but the reason I did it was because of you”
I didn’t do it but I almost followed through

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