Alone.


I am alone.
I am surrounded by people, but I am so alone.
I am also in love.
I am in love with the idea of being in love.
I am in love with the idea of being in love with no one to love, which makes me feel so alone.
Everyday I walk down the halls surrounded by people, yet when I look up I see no one, and no one sees me.
I am so alone.
Yesterday I looked up while walking in the halls and for the first time I saw someone.
I saw you.
You didn't see me, but I saw you in every way possible.
I saw the crooked smile you had on your face that hid away all the pain you had in your heart.
I saw those beautiful eyes that looked for happiness in every place that they could, only to be returned with hurt.
I knew this because I also saw the scars on your wrist.
They looked the same as mine.
You were quick to hide them, but I saw.
The next day I looked up in the halls and saw you again.
You saw me too.
It was only for a fraction of a second, but you saw me.
You were quick to look away, but that was all I needed.
That was all I needed to know that you were alone too.
It was all I needed to think that maybe we could help eachother.
That we could help eachother find ourselves.
I had faith in this crazy idea because in the split second we saw eachother, I found myself and lost myself in your eyes all at once.
I had hope in this thought because I didn't care how long it would take to help you, I knew you were worth the wait.
I should have told you.
I should have told you becasue I never saw you in the halls again.
I'm not sure what happened that night after we saw eachother, but I know that you finally found yourself.
You found yourself in sorrow at the bottom of a bottle and an empty pill box.
You found yourself and just like the birds you always wished to be, you flew away.
You flew away to a better place then this, and became free.
I wish you had taken me with you, but that is just an unfair wish.
It is unfair because my place is here on Earth walking the halls looking up every so often in hopes of seeing you again, but seeing no one and no one seeing me.
Even though I can't see you, I like to think that maybe you can still see me.
I like to think that because it makes me feel less alone, because that is all I feel now.
Alone.

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