An Empty Sweetness


Crunch, crunch, biting into an apple,
How lovely a sound it is.
Crisp, sweet or sour, good for the digestion,
But doesn't fill you up,
Leaves an empty feeling in your stomach.
Empty, hollow, something needs to fill up that space.
Empty, hollow, like she is when she's around me.
Full of vacant sweetness,
With a hard exterior that is impossible for me to break.
Biting down on all the things I want to say,
Why don't you like me? Why don't you care?
I try to make her understand, to see that I worship her,
But she still prefers my brother.
Crunch, crunch, the sound of my shoes on leave-strewn gravel,
Walking away from her apartment,
From a night that was supposed to be fun,
Video games, laughter, bad food that tastes good,
What went wrong?
Was it something I said? Something I did?
I try not to overwhelm her, not to be too intense,
But she only hears me when I'm loud.
Crunch, crunch, the nausea I feel after visiting her.
Apples help queasiness go away,
But they're never enough.

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