An Inability

I’ve got a right mind
To up and leave this all behind
But patience is falling short this time
And I’m just about ready to fall apart inside.
Cause I have truths hiding in every lie
Like all the open wounds inside every rhyme.
It’s a tough pill to swallow
To be so scared of tomorrow.
I see desire in her eyes
But I’m too scared to even try.
I know it’s pathetic
To be hypothetic
But I feel as if
If we did go through with it
It wouldn’t be what we had expected.
Or what she would’ve wanted.
I’ll be sure to be her least favorite
And this wall of silence creates such distance.
I’m starting to see a vision
Of her summers spent with her former boyfriend.
And I wonder if she ever missed him
In the middle of our conversations.
I wish I were more of a man of action
But I just don’t know what would happen
If I fall short
And let her down.
Doubt hangs over my head like a cloud.
It drenches my confidence
And it’s drowning, trying to swim.
I’m down
And I look up to her eyes
Thoughtfully noticing my inability to rise.

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