Ana


Nothing will ever please the disease i call Ana.
I am the beginning of the end, the dead end.
She sees right through my flesh, unapologetic.
Genetic ties bring forth resentments.
They run deep, way before I came to be.
Physically ill at the sight of each other.
Codependant even through absolute disgust.

The seasons of her displeasure.
Mommy dearest throughout my childhood.
Forgetting that a child needs a mom.
Tidal waves of something way out of my league.
Adoration met with ridicule, I froze the outside.
Became what made me, except I have a heart.
Hid it, in fear of Ana and her destruction.

I love Ana, even when I don't want to.
Ana doesn't love me, she needs me.
Toys with my emotions, I'm a fool.
uses my heart as a yoyo, plays me.
She's the closest thing to something real.
Something mine.

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