Anti-Love Letter

By Lana   

Dear love,
The fast change of your lines shatters my heart to a new extent
The word “Baby” now seems like a nightmare
Where I cannot wake up
The touches have left my body along with the smile on my face
How Instead
The crushing thought of you moving on drags me back under
Drowning me in a love I can no longer have
Heartbreak is a 10-letter word I was not expecting to experience
Had I known
I wouldn’t have done the things I did
Dear love,
I sit here
Waiting for you to come back
A thought with an unlikely outcome
Yet It’s the only hope I hold onto
The only hope I can hold onto
My begs and sobs of you returning remain unmatched
And the lies of my friends telling me the pain will recede are nothing but that, lies
See, my heart didn’t just break, it shattered.
The broken pieces lie on the floor wherever you walk
I felt the physical process my heart went through along with the mental
Why am I clinging onto someone who hurt me so?
I cannot answer the question myself
But waiting on you for 10 years in total
Was out of my control
Dear love,
How do you hurt me even when you aren’t present?
How do I stop?
Dear love,
The idea of soulmates used to cause me to smile
I thought there was one person for me likewise everyone else
I thought you only fell once
For the one
Dear love,
The scribbles and mistakes made by my pen
Show you how I cannot think about you without dying
The suffocation in my lungs was solely caused by remembering us
Dear love,
How did you move on?
Teach me.

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