Eyes down, I walk with quick, jerking motions
Allowing the cracks and lines to dictate my steps
I think it's silly, but I don't stop myself
It doesn't calm me, but it feels better than not doing it

The building approaches with a knot in my stomach
The familiar structures reach out to me
Put their hands around my lungs squeezing
I congratulate myself for avoiding oncoming traffic

My steps are chased and my hands shake
Anticipating a task I know perfectly in my mind
Knowledge is masked by lack of execution
I can't get out of my own way

In a meeting later I will cry for no reason
Explanation lodged in the catch in my throat
I'm afraid of the people who can help me
Prisoner in the space behind my eyes

I will rush to sanctuary at the first chance
Convince myself it wasn't all that bad
Maybe it's like this for everyone
It's easier than admitting I'm lost

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