anxiety


words climb up my ladder of ribs
longing to see the light that shines through my
teeth
some hang themselves from my nerves
(and others drown in my blood)

some are too afraid to keep on
so they plant themselves inside of me
inhale the smoke from my cigars
and they stay there till they die and rot
wishing that they weren’t so god damned weak
(and while they rot i do too)
there are words that are stuck inside of me
longing to escape
but no light is shone when you’re trapped in a fucking cell
(pounding on my chest/tugging at my nerves/rattling my bones/swimming through my veins)
“I can hear you but I don’t know where you are!”
they too lose faith and
jump from my throat
and as i feel them drown in my blood there is nothing i can do
but throw up their remains
in puddles of water and blood and nervousness and rum

there is a suicide inside of me
(forming in the cartilage of my bones and ending in my bloodstream)
and this is, i am, anxiety

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