Bad Dog? Good Dog?


A wet nose wakes me from slumber
Whine whine whine
Just give me another minute
Bad Dog

The door opens
Shrinkingly patient he sits
Outside I assure him
Good dog

Had to go but sits on the porch
Scans the environment
Barks at the chipmunks that harass him
Chain breaks forgets he is a dog and
climbs the tree
Ten feet dangling on a branch
Tip toeing like the bark is too hot
Just remembered he
isn't a cat and wants down
Whine whine whine
Bad dog

Home from a long day at work
I lie down on the not so comfortable couch
Oh that's his favorite spot and he forces
his head first then his body under my arms
He licks my face
No lick
He licks my face
Please no lick
This goes on long enough
that I no longer know if he is being a bad dog or a good dog

Mr German Shepherd walks by again and pees in our yard
Like a drunken asshole he loses his shit
Bad dog
Whines turn into barks
Barks into growls
Growls into a snarling lunacy
Bad dog
It doesn't stop
Bad dog get off the furniture
Lie down
Commands fail me and I try to comfort him
Tables are emptied of trinkets
Two plants are surrounded by dirt like a murder scene
My nerves are stretched and my spine can feel the pain in his body
He shakes violently
His cackles are spread wide
He howls and cries long after the German Shepherd disappears
past the lilacs that make my girlfriend sneeze

Sprinting in the long hallway slowly relaxes him
Soothing tones
Good boy Good dog
I throw the ball for him and he chases it
I throw another ball for him
He doesn't want that ball
He likes the old chewed in half ball that was with him when we found him at the pet store
Good dog
I pet him as he gets comfortable and calm in my lap
Why can't you be like this all the time
Good dog

A tree limb snaps in the front lawn
The German Shepherd is peeing in our front yard again
Chaos ensues inside the house
Bad dog

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