bad thoughts

what is my name
i am ashamed
going back and forth at night inside my head
nothing nice, nothing bad
i am always in between, enough said
my heart breaks, just like yours, the only difference
is, i feel it more
i lost my mom, my brother is locked up,
what do i do?
i got my aunts, i got her husband, but i am still
alone, why do these things happen, and what
should i do? and, that is the only question i can ask
i feel i am dying, but i hold it in, and keep lying,
all wanted was a simple life, but you never have
"simple" am i right?
black and white, all this darkness, and never light,
dead ends, but i am going to try
but trying makes me tired, trying takes my energy
away, when there is no way, i fall onto my bed, and
try, and wish my troubles away
but the troubles come back, and they stab me in the
back, and i get angry, and start to fight back, but
the problem is, the troubles are me, taking the knife,
dragging it down my arm, to get a release

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