Barbed Wire

I don't know why
But I never felt the need nor the want to apologize
Didn't know it wasn't wise to always be behaving so headstrong
Thought words meant nothing
But they justify everything so I was wrong
At the time, letting go left more scars on my soul
Than the will to hold on
And staying bitter use to be a lot easier than trying to be better
Told teachers the tears in my eyes
Were just some drops of rain from the weather
But they were really the product
Of my frustration, my anger, determination
And that anger, the product of witnessing my family's annihilation
And my home's eradication
The product of all my community's cultural limitations and yes
I am the product of the heartaches and struggles of my generation
I was once so engorged by the surrounding devastations
That I became the true embodiment of desperation
Ignorant not diligent, committing sins for the hell of it
And not giving a single damn about destroying God's creations
Well at least I came to, discovered all the right things to do
And finally in my heart and mind I grew
So now, I'm not ashamed of what I've been through
It made my efforts worthwhile
And now I know the difference between a sneer, a smirk and a smile

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