I used to be the beauty but now I am the beast.
The last petal has fallen,
The once best parts of me are deceased.
There are secrets and demons all too deep,
Quickly trying to surface while searching for something as simple, as a breath of oxygen to breathe.
The mommy in me everyday filled with pain and regret, your arrival couldn't have been more perfectly set.
Trying to reprogram my brain, a total mind reset, everything I do for you baby... No regrets.
You are most definitely my pride and joy.
After months of Patience, into this odd world you were deployed baby boy.
Ready or not here you came,
Without your existence mommies world will never be the same.
One day I wish you can be proud,
Expect nothing less than for me to be the loudest in the crowd.
You baby are my one truest love,
Like a special gift from the stars above.
I hope your goals and dreams always come true!
but if that day comes where the tables have changed, just know my everything is still here thanks to you.
I love you Abel James, I hope I'm at least a quarter of the mommy you deserve and need. Hopefully someday you will understand what I mean.