Beautiful Desperate Garden

Beside you, eyes closed and breath held
What has happened or is just to me
Indeed, you must feel the change

Despite, I am in this all by myself
Eyes closed tight
When did the self-loathing begin, unsolvable riddle
If it were all about me with my eyes closed tight;
But I fear that it is not
Our young life seeds were meant to be planted in rich soil
Tended to and grow into a kaleidoscope of flowers

All of the necessary ingredients, except us two.
Separate teams of one
Each quietly bending towards the dark of the moon
Forgetting the brightness of the sunlight, if it ever existed
Totally different views of our garden, nothing alike

Nobody bothered to keep the bugs from devouring the final few blooms

Desperate to find safety instead of having to wear a mask
Reside within a shell
Carry the wall I have created on my worn out back
Forever watching the calendar, beside you
My eyes closed and breath held

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