Becoming A Man
Becoming a Man.
The days that have passed, have quickly changed into years.
Living in an adult's body now ,you must realize I am still a child
Don't know where the lessons from childhood have disappeared .
Waiting to learn many and remembering little at the same time.
Each day , I try to bring myself closer to being 'me'.
Trying to keep away from the outside chaos.
Coz if I don't , I know it is easy to be lost.
Yet with my own decisions I haven't matured enough.
Time just swiftly passes but I think I am still indifferent as usual.
The calendars have changed innumerable dates since my birth.
I am standing motionless afraid that I would grey real soon.
Another birthday would be here and I must have turned 20.
Childhood passed with leisure ,Teenage with recklessness
I am not sure of the path I have chosen. Will I go astray?
I am supposed to be more responsible for my actions now but I hate responsibility.
I continue to walk shamelessly still not letting go of that child inside me.
Having numerous plans but unsure of making even one turn out well.
Have seen many dreams.Future seems to be bleak and every day dreary.
Slowly getting familiar to my parents' life.
No feelings,no mercy, just work endlessly.
My heart attached to the most insignificant things.
Still stuck in the past and scared of future.
Pulling through each treacherous day without will or choice because life has to go on.
When I open my eyes I remind myself those carefree days are gone.
And that mistakes can become a burden but not forgiven and 'sorry' can't always signify the end of the problem.
I could burn all those fairy tale books away.
For punishing me with incorrect notions of life.
Every book is a supressed desire to feel more alive.every imagination to feel hopeful.
I have hold onto them long but all those stories written aren't reality ,now I understand .
Each one waiting for miracles but what they receive are some unexpected setbacks.
It is a tough journey dragging ourselves through this uphill struggle of rat race .
We survive just with our exhaustive effort to balance so that we are still in the game.
Cautiously putting another foot forward to venture out into the unknown.
Flipping through the transient phases of my story.
Quickening my pace to keep up with the world
Taking steps ahead and stepping back sometimes.
So that the something worth reading is written in the next chapter.
I have been warned not to let this misery turn my life upside down .But my ignorant soul still forgets to obey these important instructions.
Those wishes and prayers and earnest desires sound too naive today.
Oh God now prepare me for the next battle. I have survived through Teenage.