Before the World Crashed: A Day In the Life

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10- I wake up to a new day, even though nothing seems to really have changed
9- Make my lunch in my private routine, one slice of bread and a knife of peanut butter, folded over of course to make a sandwich
Then I get the two waters I take to school everyday, ignoring what my friends have to say about me “not eating enough”
8- Make it through the drive to school and eventually see the ones that make this awful life worth living
7- Somehow I get through the day (I’m still not sure how that keeps happening)
6- Get in the car and lie about everything (it wouldn’t be fair to let them know the truth of it all)
5- Finally home and head straight to my room (I’ve had enough interaction today, can I get a break?)
4- Talk with my friends (I never know if it’s going to be a lighthearted, fun conversation or one that will make me think about things I’d rather ignore)
3- “Eat” dinner, even though I never feel hungry anymore
2- Go to bed and finally let all the thoughts turn my brain into mush
1- Here’s where things can be shaken up
I could text a friend, maybe have a heart-to-heart maybe make them worry about me by accident…
Or (the less complicated option) I could give in to the things I know I shouldn’t do, the things that are the only real help I get
Every night is a toss-up, spicing up the monotonously depressing life I have come to live
0- Repeat everything, partly hoping there will be a disaster to end it all, partly hoping it doesn’t get even worse than it already is…
-1- If only I had known that a disaster was coming
And that it would make me want to go back to this horrible life I was tired of living

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