Bits & Pieces

I stand and look down
at pieces of my heart scattered around.
Examining the pieces and trying to make sense
of what our love is or was or wasn't.
I am paralyzed as I think and remember.
I see youth hindered by fear.
I see fear, lots and lots of pieces of fear.
I see loss. I see clinging.
I see desire. Unfulfilled.
I see tears and pain and heartache.
I see you try. I see me try.
I see burdens too much to bear.
I see the word "transcend".
I resent.
I resent the blame.
My fault, my fault, my fault.
The hell it is.
I bend down. I pick up a piece.
I turn it over in my hand.
I pick up another and another.
I make them fit together like a puzzle.
An imperfect puzzle with holes and gaps.
I stand up with my broken heart in my hand.
As I walk away, I think I feel it, but I can't be sure.
A movement. A pulse. A beat.

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