Blanket


A blanket of terror is draped over me. Every night when I drift off to sleep, it takes me places I never want to be. A tragic carpet ride over craters dug so deep, that I can't even see what's beneath me. It makes it hard to breathe. My stomach eats away at itself, so I pop my pills that sit beside me on the shelf, and hope that this time they'll truly help. Under this blanket of terror is where I wake. Drenched in beads of sweat, I thought it was my blood. When I look at the time I start to shake, it's only 2:08 am, it's early but it's late. I can feel the darkness crawling on my skin. Begging to come in and drown me in it's flood. The night will bury me alive as it whispers in my ear, the past that I was given that I blame for all my fears. I am molested by the deep blue sky and all the stars throughout it watch. They laugh at my pathetic innocence. When I plead for help they scoff. We are born into the world with the universe within us and at some point I screamed so loud that it came up out my mouth. My mom can recall that day, but I cannot. But now that I am empty I can feel my body rot. Underneath the covers, eyes blood shot. If you ask me what I see behind my eyes at all times. It's an image of an ocean, without the reflection of the moon within it's waves, nor the reflection of the sun. Floating on it's surface is a stuffed bunny and a flower. But only I can see them, or remember them. At this point I don't know the difference. Reality is a nightmare and it's all because everything that ever is, and ever was, is all my fault. So I will continue to dilute this fact, with my tears and my blood. Bruises in my thighs remind me I'm alive. Yet I'm forgetting how to cry, so I will lie under these covers. Deep in a crater and here is where I'll die.

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