I loved you the moment I knew of you,
but I only knew of you when I lost you.
a million apologies my beloved
I've heard your silenced cries at three am
how selfish this body of woman can be
a temporary tomb for my baby
made your presence present
stained with a bloody river
I was never one to nurture
I was never mother
I've never wanted one before,
but I've never wanted you so much more.