Blossom Under Adversity

Mother why was I born,
In the cruel world full of thorns,
Where did my childhood dissapear,
Where are the people who are supposed to cheer?
Mother why am I your parent after all,
Why do I have be strong, stand tall,
I am drowning while your marriage falls,
Where are my days to play with the dolls?
Mother why am I the savior of you after all,
Bring honor to the family, stay quiet and brace it all,
Protect us from the tortures, the harassment
I have dealt and seen it all,
What did we do to not deserve a normal family after all?
A better life, is why you say we stayed,
The several nights you silently wished we were dead,
Stopping you from leaving wasn't my fault after all,
I was just a kid, in need of a mother's shawl.
The men I date, remind me of the abuse,
I am terrified of showing them my inner bruise,
You say marriage is the way to fit to a happy family shoes,
What do I know of healthy relationships, how do I break them the news?
My silence has run its course,
I'm bleeding internally, I am sick of the fact that you don't have a divorce,
I just want to be told it wasn't my fault,
I was born into it, I shouldn't be ashamed by default.
Mother, I appreciate you protected us,
But it wasn't a protection after all,
Your innumerous mental breakdown,
With all the PTSD it holds,
It was just me alone, alone in the hole.
The countless friends I have lost,
My partners encompassing,
Who just wanted to be introduced to my family and home,
Little they knew, my lifes crumbling and my lips were shut,
I was told to bring honor to the family,
My voice stayed cut.
Which parent to choose isn't a normal dinner conversation,
Why does coming home has to be so stressful sensation,
Why does society who doesn't give a shit matter,
Just for once, can life serve me everything on a platter?
The abuse marks still bruise my soul,
The voices echoes, my partner's touch triggers the toll,
My trust is broken, I cannot heal,
You remind Everytime of everything I try to conceal.
I walk the rivers and lands of this Earth,
I was born a princess, a warrior since birth,
Though noone would ever know my worth,
I am happy, I was the chosen one,
My strength, kindness and experiences, I run,
I will break the cycle,
I will be the man the household deserved,
I will give you the life you wished to preserve,
I would be the flower,
Blossomed under Adversity.

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