Bonnie


I'm searching for her.
The missing chapter.
The beginning of my life,
My birth mother.

Sometimes I wonder where she is ...

She hugged me.
She kissed me goodbye.
The pain of life's real knife.

Her tears of mourning.
A winter snow pouring.
In Iowa, her heart was split open.
Most likely still a pending bleeding.
From when she held me.
From when she met me.
From when she left me.

She buckled me in safely.
Then there she was,
waving as the car pulled away.
But I was sleeping.
Way too young to know what was going on.
Soon I'd be learning my ABC's.
Soon she would be gone.
My birth mother.

Sometimes I wonder where she is ...

Does she have the same blue eyes that I do?
Or are they faded within ripped out pages?
Does she have the same clef lip that I do?
Does her smile somewhat break
when she recalls her sweetest mistake?
If I could tell her how much I love her then I would.
But I'm stuck missing memories that I never met.

No face, only a name that I know.
Do we resemble?
Does her heart tremble like mine
in a void so divine?
Just let me tell her that I love her.
Let her know that I am safe
so that her nightmares may recover.

Dear birth mother.

I'd thank her for her most tragic sacrifice,
I'd thank her for giving me life.
She hugged me.
She kissed me goodbye.
The pain of life's real knife.
But Bonnie, I am doing just fine.

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