Born to be punished

Waiting to fall asleep, so i can hold you guys in my dreams.
Everybody around you kids are buying your love it seems.
It is so unfair because my love is all i have to give.
You guys are my only reason for a future, and my reason to live.
No matter how much i hurt, my love is unconditional for the both of you.
I just wish there was a way to prove, or something more i could do.
That i will never give up hope to be with my kids in my future life.
No matter how much my heart feels like it's being tortured with a knife.
Having you kids gave my life purpose, and gave me something to fight for.
It was your very big hugs and kisses that i so much adore.
Sometimes it may have seemed like i just didnt care.
Not being able to be with yall, was just too much for me to bare.
Many nights have passed with me crying myself to sleep.
The absence of yalls presence constantly makes me weep.
I so deeply believe it when people say this is simply hell on earth.
My life was cursed to end badly, the first few minutes after my birth.

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This is how i feel not being able to have my kids around.