Break Under Fear

How could this happen...
How could I let this happen..?
I’m on my knees
Destruction all around me
My ears are ringing
I can’t bring myself to look up...
I can’t hear it but I can feel myself sobbing
My tears splatter on the ground below me
My hair is hanging over my eyes
As if to protect me from seeing everything
So much pain...
Equally physical and emotional...
I failed.
My hearing slowly comes back...
Screaming...
Crying...
My name...
People see me... They still believe in me...
I don’t
I just...
Don’t.
I’m not special
I’m not God
I’m human.
I am not hope.
... Laughing.
I hear laughing
Getting closer
And closer
Right in front of me.
I slowly look up
Everyone is screaming so loud at me
I can’t focus on anything
My face is full of dirt and blood.
My eyes don’t have any shimmer.
Standing in front of me...
The face of fear itself...
I could barely speak...
“... You win...”
I hang my head even lower.
Collapse.