By Abby Ar   

Breathe in,
Breathe out.
These words constantly repeat in my head.
There as quiet as silence itself,
Yet they still echo through my whole being.
It hurts as it hits my skull,
Almost unbearable.
The thoughts I have are overpowering,
Making these words almost nonexistent.
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
It becomes more difficult to believe everyday.
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
The wounds still bleed,
And they will leave scars,
Yet still I hear it--
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
But I don’t want to think.
My mind screams.
Louder and louder it gets.
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
I don’t understand it,
But why?
Its agonizing,
But a part of me keeps saying it.
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
The silence makes me desperate--
Desperate for answers.
It is hard to breath when the burden of life is so heavy,
It causes my knees to buckle,
And my muscles to shake.
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
Why am I telling myself to live,
When the rest of me is resisting?
The tears are hot on my skin,
And the wind is knocked out of me.
Everything is dark,
But I still hear it--
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
A whisper inside of me.
I hear it,
It sinks in.
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
I fill my lungs with air,
And then I expel it.
Again I do it.
And again.
I have control.
The pain is barely noticeable now,
And I wipe the wetness of my face.
I get up,
Move forward,
And leave the doubt behind.
The marks may never leave,
But the torment is in the past.
All the torture was only me,
Harming myself with whispers,
And lies that were never true.
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
These words are what I obey,
Not the silence that tried to hide them.

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