Broken


All I want is for someone
To look at me
As if i'm damaged
To look me dead in the eye
and ask
"Are you okay?"
And when I answer
"Yeah I am great"
Them understand i'm lying
I need someone to acknowledge
My weaknesses and help improve
my fear and anxiety
I need someone to hold me
When I cry
To smile
When I am happy
No one sees
my feelings
covered deep so
No one can reach them
But no one cares enough to
i don't matter
Neither do my feelings
The scars are proof
Of my broken heart
In desperate need of mendation
Care for my brokenness
Don't run from it
When I explain my feelings
Don't say "STOP"
Let me know you're listening
and when I do explain myself
Be happy
Because I opened up to YOU
Don't call me pyscho
or Mentally unstable
I am HUMAN
Just like everyone else
I am a broken human
But none the less HUMAN
Don't get angry
When I say "no."
When you ask me
If I want to "talk about it"
Not everything can be
Put into words
I hold on
To my mask
In a desperate attempt
to cover the true me
The broken
Unprotected
Self-Loathing
Unloved
Numb
Scarred
and most of all
Traumatized
By my own actions
I've created a monster
That not even I control anymore
There's no getting rid
of this monster
Because
This monster
Doesn't live under my bed
It lives in my head
Shaking this feeling
Is like getting rid of lice
feels impossible
Life feels empty
So I am fearful
and scared
Questions race
to my head
Where is my happiness?
Will it ever return?
Will I receive help?
Hopefully
"Everything will be 'okay'"
I HATE that word
it's just as useless
As I feel
I am sinking
Like a rock
in this ocean of water
Called life
I'm drowning
Seeing black
but that is the least of my problems
Confident
Caring
Considerate
Is how everybody sees me
Let me be the first to tell you
That is a mask
A coverup
A fake
I use it to
Cover up my pain
Sadly
the mask only covers
the outside
Inside
I feel like i'm dying
That mask doesn't go away
I've gone numb
and nobody noticed
I'm not strong
I need a supporter

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This Poems Story

This poem took me 30 minutes to write. During the writing I cried. A lot. This poem speaks from my heart and gives everyone a look at who I really am.