Broken
He left the house
We don't where he is
It's been a while
He probably went out to drink
My thoughts
Others' thoughts
I feel my heart sink
I feel numb
Because this time, I can't do it anymore
I want to yell, scream, panic
But all I do is sit
Let my thoughts consume me, devour me…
I want to ask
But I refrain myself
Until I can't refrain myself anymore
I ask the question
I know I shouldn't
But I do
Instant regret
Silence on his part
I try to make sense of the silence
Of him staring at me
Trying to look for answer in his stare, in his eyes
Until he says no
He walks away
I stand there frozen
Not knowing what to think
What to believe
All I can do is just stare
And look for the answer I believe
Breathe in
Breathe out
That's the mantra
Its supposed to be making me feel better
Then why isn't
WHY do I not feel better
Concentrate on other things
Find a distraction
And I try
A distraction in anything—everything
But alas my mind wanders
Even as I write this
My eyes drift
And I stare blankly at the gray walls
Imagining
Envisioning something—anything
Slowly the silence sinks in
Even in silence
I hear the yells of the past life
They don't exist anymore, but I hear them
In my mind—my thoughts—my dreams