Broken Heart, Open Eyes

She really didn't know what to do anymore.
She didn't want distractions, she didn't want coping skills.
She wanted the pain to stop.
She didn't want to just cope for the rest of her life.
She didn't want to live with her illness.
But she didn't want to die either.
She was stuck somewhere in the middle.
Terrified she was, scared and lonely.
Yet she picked up her broken pieces everyday.
Just to watch them fall away.
She didn't know what else to do.
She had been to the hospital twice, both times she learned.
But when she felt, when she felt, she felt so much, so strongly.
She learned she couldn't trust anyone.
Not even herself. That saddened her.
She picked at her skin, leaving "beauty marks". As she called them.
She couldn't even write in a straight line.
Her story was sickening.
So sad and sickening.

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