Broken Pottery

By Danya   

It seems as though
The world keeps spinning
The pins fall out.
I piece them in cautiously
Pointing them inward
Burying them deep,
Watching the cracks form together,
The clay never fully reuniting,
However close enough they fit
Until they break
They separate as the pins fall out
And onto the floor
And broken
And pointed up
Stepping on them one by one,
A fall and scream ring out,
Yet finally I feel,
As if the broken parts push pain into my heart
And for once the pain is evident and the feelings are there
And people see,
They judge and they see
But at least they know,
For once I am not called sad for pitying reasons
But rather for reasons that are deemed normal,
All I have ever wanted is normalcy,
Now I feel its pain and all I want is tear the normalcy from my heart
Like removing pins from my foot
And although the hole is still there and the blood still flows,
I know that it will scab
And then scar
And though the scar will remain it will be barely
Only I will know of the scar
No one will see because my steps hide it
And as I walk only I will feel it,
If I choose to share those scars they can be shared
Pain can transfer
By my own regard
And for once not by others,
I hurt,
People recognize that,
That’s all I have ever wanted
To be recognized and seen
Not for what the image dictates of me
Or what I have attempted to concur,
But of reality and truth,
So though I am sad
And the pushpin still tears the skin
The softest skin I have
That was once touched by someone I love,
And imprints were left by their fingers,
Now the holes cover the imprints
And they don’t allow me to feel the touches
But maybe this is good,
It helps me with the sadness and makes me feel nothing
Numbness is what I have heard
The word rings depression through my brain,
Shockingly as if someone took a bell
Straight to my ear,
Like churches during prayer time,
I remember when we passed the church
The wind cutting through my face
My hair creating sections,
My eyes not seeing visibly,
Nervousness brewing in my stomach
And I hear the church bell
Yet now that is all a distant idea
A fantasy
Maybe it was never a reality
And this gets me to remove the pin
So it can scar
So I will no longer feel
The forgotten memories
That were non-existent

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This Poems Story

How I imagine my emotions building up inside of me