Castaway


I am resolved in my existence being small enough to fit in the back pocket of my disheveled jeans
Dissolved by a world too large to carry my burden of thoughts
I am reminded that I was built from the wilt of plush cotton
Walking an earth of cold concrete and cruelty
And so it seems I crafted a place for myself between two worlds
Enveloping the tranquility of darkness
I am a castaway in my own head, as though my mind was a place I was ostracized to
I did not belong anywhere
I would always be lost, even in my solitude
I could not stop the ceaseless creation of this invisible barrier yet even in my awareness it continued to separate me from a connectedness I have never felt
I craved a comprehension that eluded all attempts of analyzation
To know myself enough to crate the depths of hollowness in my core
To stop the emptying of feelings that flushed through one side of my head and out the other
It seemed no innovation of absurd absorbency could soak the memories that leaked from my subconscious no matter the Spring’s I spent laying in the grass with my palms facing the sky in stillness
I am Inundated by the agonies that dwell within me yet outside of myself I only discover humid air and despair
What safeguard is it to not allow the world near me when all I am capable of is hiding in the cracks of my many damaged selves
I wondered if I’d awaken to a wholeness that is me and all of my self searchings and nothingness I came across would vanquish in the truth that I am indeed alive and not observing the life I’ve lived somewhere off in the distance
I breathe in the solace that is the dark night sky and I am reassured by the notion that there really is a place for the restlessness that exists only in my consciousness

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