Cause and Effect

Living with depression has cost me dearly,
I've missed good times and lost many of those near me;
It's hard to explain if you don't know how it feels,
So I'll try and give you insight to the demon I conceal.
I ask that you please just listen,
I'm not asking for a helping hand;
I'm just trying to put it in a way you can understand.

It's the anger that builds up in me for no good reason,
Making me punch my wall until my knuckles are bleeding.
It's the doors that I slam,
Hoping someone will hear and ask if I'm okay;
It's the weight on my chest when I wake up every day.
To put it bluntly,
It's wanting to give up and not handle the load;
It's when I'm driving my car,
And I want to slam it into a tree along the road.

Looking back is like a calendar full of missing days;
Like reading the book of my life,
And finding nothing but a blank page.
Isolating myself,
Because I'm sure no one wants me around anymore;
Creating a maximum security prison,
Right there behind my own bedroom door.

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