So, tell me about your childhood...
Wait, let me tell you about mine.
I remember waking up on Saturday mornings, making myself a bowl of Fruit Loops that was most likely stale, turning on the television and watching my favorite episodes of Tom and Jerry.
I remember racing my friend's bike down a steep street in the alleyway behind my backyard to see how fast my friends and I can go, and then end up launching face first into the black asphalt because my friend forgot to mention that their brakes didn't work.
I remember all those cherishing moments as a kid.
Yes, when I was a kid.
Why do you seem confused as if you think that I still am one? Some people still refer to me as a still young, straight out of the womb, squeaky clean and an always smiling troublemaker.
But would a kid refer to stealing all of their parent's printer paper to sketch their hopes and dreams out as a *childhood* memory?
No, they would just call it yesterday
But now I’m in high school, full of the people I called my friends back in the 2nd grade when things were as easy as spelling the word “easy”
When there was no such thing as heartbreak and staying up late at night asking oneself what they did wrong.
Now I'm in the place I'd always dream of being in when I was a kid. Just another step to growing up into the adult I’ll later become
But I’m all grown up now.
I've seen enough.
“But you’re just 15.”
Yes, 15 and was recommended to get anti-depressants at the age of 13.
15, and have already seen a loved one die right before my eyes.
15, and continuously getting unwanted thoughts trying to check back into my vacant mind.
15, and can now only remember the traumatizing moments I had in my still young, fresh out of the womb always smiling troublemaking childhood.
15, and with the knowledge that I’m not the only 14, 15, 16-year-old “kid” here that is all grown up.
So don’t you tell me to grow up, I’m way past that
don’t tell me ill get over it soon, that it's just a phase when I've been like this since age 11.
Do not tell me I need help,
Because the last thing I want to hear another therapist ask me is:
“So, tell me about your childhood.”