Cold Actuality

It's like you're fading from my mind.
Ugh, my mind.
What is it with my mind?
It's like everything is lost and I have nothing to find.
My heart grows heavy, it feels like stone.
They say, "You're grown."
I'm supposed to be grown;
yet I feel so small.

Is that all?
They tell me, "You can't fight,
Don't fight, lower your fists,
you can't fight the fall."
They left me without real words,
Lies slapped in my face,
Then tell me to embrace.

You rule me like a prisoner, yet I could almost be queen.
There has to be truth, something in between?
Fading from my consciousness,
Melting from reality,
Forgiveness in cold actuality.
Once the beat of my heart, the spark of my soul,
Putting the pistol to my mind,
No longer whole.

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