Cold Feelings (8/2/05)

I feel so very cold
I begin to see the empty hole
That is my soul
The sad lonely years
Have taken their toll
As my erratic emotions
Begin to unfold

I hate to be me
I hate this life that I see
I don’t deserve this treatment you see
My family is this shameful uprooted tree before me
Bastard child that I am
Abandoned little girl who is damned
As I write my name in the sand
The wind blows it away where I stand
I cry until my tears reach the land
Beg god please send someone to hold my hand
A mother a father, a family, a man
Someone to accept the person that I am

Please someone to understand the hurt that I feel
Not spiritual or fictional but, a person that is real
A friend not a foe
One who will stay and never go
The pain that I feel everyday
Can there be such a being that relates to my dismay
I’m so hopeless in this way
I wish sometime I can say
I’m happy and complete ‘cause someone loves me today

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