collection 2 of poems left on for Reflections from the forefront


Submission to Publisher
Poems by David Buckovetz
Pen name (nom de guerre): Dan Bickert

Title: Reflections from the Beforefront

Having It All
by Dan Bickert

By gaining the world what would one lose in the process?
Can one lack nothing?
And what of the loss of what was formerly kept close
And what was held dear
And what of our aspirations
We have the time to recognize
That which is more than this swirling awakened dream
Time and its outcomes have us facing choices and changes
What have we rebuked through our choices of the past
The opportunity cost of choices made and goals achieved
When we could have made other choices instead
Of the ones we have made
And what about what was missed out on
When we choose one thing and not the other
Can we in some form have these back again
And these may come back to us
Perhaps, some day, in some form
What was lost in the effort of achieving our dreams?
Have we paid for what we have now with what we had?
And, also, what we have lost in the process?
The sum of it all could be summed up doing sums of the whole
For some rebuking discomfort strengthens them
Others who are weak can not handle the strain of certain effort
To get somewhere takes some discomfort, at some point
Along the way of one kind or the other
Challenges that we take on magnify what to us is number one
And what may that be?
It may be singular to each and every one of us
Those that say: “I will pay the price”
And that follow through, have gained a challenge
And what has been lost in such a situation?
You would now know if you can or could achieve it and tried
To accomplish such things and make it through without trying it
Opportunities passed over may never come again
But not missed are our dreams that we took a chance on
And what we have of what is left after it is all said and done
Are memories as momentos as well as what we may have achieved
These just these can make some things worth the while
And can console in a way, at times
Knowing that we have done something
And have been somewhere in our lives
These, experiences, can become memories
Of where we once were and what we once were
And what we have done and achieved
It is important to remember where one began
And how far one has come
This can make up for failure
Or disappointment for some, in a way
When one realizes one followed one’s dreams
Lost clearness of where one started out
Dilutes achievements made
Time is continually presenting us with new scenarios
Each and every day something new is at hand
We must recognize what we have left behind
In our pursuit of the future we want and our goals
And what we have paid in sacrifices for it
And what we have gotten back in return
As a consequence and recompense
And the price we have paid
For some it sums up what dreams are
To each and every one of us
And what they mean to us
Magnified dreams resonate
And through achievement things are gained
Point. Points... that continue on
But not forever
What, when, and at which point?
And to who does it apply?
In this timeline of our lives
And what is the point of it all?
It may be to live and to learn
And it is important for one to recognize
That the struggle takes its toll
And that healing can do no wrong
And that soothing things can ease
Some of the hardship that comes with life
And that it can take away some
Of the remnants of the struggle
And in memoriun of memories lost
And live like there’s nothing at all to be lost

Lightsight, flick the switch on world
By Dan Bickert

They go creating, discovering and discerning
Through the scientific method
Those dedicated to discovery through the scientific method
The leading to and shedding of old ideas and ways
Of how one thinks and sees the world
And slowly ways of old are being put into a lit
By them, by these inquisitive persons
Old ideas put into a furnace
Of eventual disbelief
It is kept burning by those that look for things provable
This is fallen grief of lost predominance for some
For those who hold to ways of the past
And that which pertains to it
And many of these embers of old ways
And world views that are still held onto by some
And, it is eagerly awaited new knowledge and insight
That is embraced and looked forward to by others
That which is discovered and uncovered by these
That follow the scientific method
Fate, perhaps
Or, maybe, providence tie together the sheaths of life
From which we take our dagger
To cut through some of the
Mysteries that surround us with our intellect
To cut through the unknown
And to some this is threatening
Who protect what they believe
Despite empirical evidence
And some hold on to to the last breath
What they believe

What is it all about?

For those that see humor
In this mad world we live in
A sharp wit could be seen
As the height of comical expression
And it can be cutting at times, for sure
And it shows an understanding of the
Incongruous nature of so many things in this world
And the absurdity of so many situations in this life
That which has been written
And that which will be written
We go on tying together tying threads of thought
Everyone and humankind
Fingers or pens expressing and putting onto pages words
Or even with strokes of the brush on a painting
Or the lyrics and instruments of music and song
These things, showing us new ways of seeing
And of interpreting the world around us
And these representations, descriptions
Or interpretations of our surroundings
And that also expressing many things within us
According to the artist and his form of expression
You can try to put your finger on some things
Like the ethereal soul for example
Or things intangible in their nature and essence if you wish
Or just accept understanding them innately
Which we all might to some degree or extent do
And not everything lost is gone forever, however
What might have been lost can be re-found
Or returned to one, although nothing lasts forever
And so much that is important to know
Or discover or find out is lost on so many
And surprisingly, and sadly
Many seem disinterested
In many important things that are to be known
While we all live together under the spell of the discernment
Of our individual and shared reality and realities
And our interpretations of our surroundings
This coming from our take and takes on our environment
And things I experience are what is real to me and what I know
And my views and outlooks on these things
Are fashioned from how I was brought up to a large extent
And from my genetic make-up
And, perhaps, also, it could be us tapping into
Some sort of world group consciousness
Which we all might share, possibly
If you are willing to entertain such an idea
And, for some, during their time on this earth
An enchanted life they live
And for many looking deeper into things
Is not a thing they feel need be done
It is or has been for them, and for some
For some time, such an existence
But I have not been like that in a long time
And when I see it, even in passing
I wish to not get any closer
And it has deliberately been time
Since I have come to know personally
Or gotten close to anyone like this and for good reason
And, almost all lives, glorious, or otherwise
Are forgotten with time other than the select few
Who stand above and apart from the rest of humanity
In their excellence and outstandingness
Perhaps, because so many of us are so ordinary
And the ordinary is so common
And you know what they say about the typical, ordinary and normal
They don’t say anything
Because it is all too common
And the typical way of being and thinking is so encouraged
And those not considered normal
I do not believe to be very often see as unique
And what I see as normal is what is accepted by the majority
And, sadly, for many others life is a struggle to make it day to day
And they do not have time to look deeper
And for many of us it is a life of drudgery
Awake to a new day all! And wake up world!
There is always a morning and a sunrise
After dark times and struggles
As long as you are alive and striving
Even for those that have lived through
Or even if you are living through engulfing despair
So keep hope up for a better day

Originals
By Dan Bickert

To those that have slung stones
At those who live life on the edge
Who live this way often in order to feel what it is to be alive
Or, at those who choose to live outside of the norm
Because the “norm” does not suit them
I call these stone throwers “Shallow Joneses”
While I look up to those others
Those living in a day/night light height
Of understanding of themselves and, often the world
And those that would hurt or marginalize
Those that would step out of the norm
Which is often enforced through
And by marginalizing those to do not belong in to it
Take heed in what harm you do
To those like this who I see as so brave
And know, it is not easy having some kind of what I call
“Lightsight” or daring to be yourself
And understanding of your surroundings
Which can often be a burden in a dark world of lost souls
Where perception and seeing through the fog
And more than past your nose is a rarity
Examining what you are taught
But what might not be as you were told can be dangerous
Or, for those that wish to take down
Those such as these that are or live like this
And the effect of having taken down
Even a notch, for whatever reason
WIth a disparaging comment even
Someone living at the height of experiencing life
To them, this, well, it does great harm
For they are without often shelter or protection
For those in this challenging life
That in their own self contrived
And creative ways choose to live as such
They desire not to even to be participate in the social norms
Many of these types of people are not even trying
To move up on the totem pole themselves of society
So why take them down a notch with a comment or criticism
They often have stepped out of what is accepted to be themselves
And may not even be looking for acceptance from others
And those interested in living how some who live
Just as an example
The vagabond or artist’s life of self expression
And wish to enter into this
And are hoping to leave behind the common
And delve into original thought
And existence in their lives
Well, they should know that, as I see it
There are no walls separating
Them from the others who live this way
Only doors through which it is known
To enter into this other world
And windows through which to look in and out
At those others out there
Who are often out there
And to see such people and their lives
And how they live
And the things that they create
Or have created are often highly prized
Through the expression of their lives lived in artistic form
And I have been living in and out
Of the basement of this kind of life
While in my own type of social exile in some places
Going in and out through the basement door
From here to there and back again
While trying to get a view of what is inside and out
While often not feeling comfortable
Inside or outside of either type of lifestyle
So, to sum it up, and to try to tie this all together
Why don’t we all first just search for common ground
We can and could at least do that
If not for others sake then for ourselves
Why don’t we all just turn to each other
One after the other
And ask each other, to start out:
What’s it all about to you?
And, what has meaning and value to you?
And from there, I think, really
Then we could start to get somewhere
And make some progress in advancing
As societies and in this world
Which is now more than ever, and increasingly
A global village we all share
And as individuals and as humanity as a whole
By working on common understandings
Through the sharing of viewpoints, beliefs, and ideas
And even those from dramatically opposed views
Might be able to find some common ground from where to start
To come together, and to compromises, all together

Insame Sane but Different
By Dan Bickert

As my mind wanders to a distant whereabouts
Where I was once tethered for a time
And somewhat lost there as well
There, in my mind, there was were I was lost but free
It was there, yes, in my mind, that also much was gained
When many of my perspectives became changed
And, when I was there
I saw that this place fit for some
And that others were unfit for it
But I did indeed survive my time there
And I managed to make my way back to the “real world”
As I was told the “working world” was during my college days
I happened to come back with a very different state and frame of mind
And with different outlooks on the world and on life
I had drastically changed as a person
Through my experiences lived there and other far off places
Once back, with my mind having been altered
And to some extent with it intact
And with more open mindedness
Well, many things that I was formerly taught
And that I once believed in before
Seemed misplaced or misidentified by me
There, in this place, in this part of the world
Many of these forms of classification
Ideations, and ways of seeing things
As well as many of the labels given to things
Had ceased to exist for me more
And many of the boxes that things are put into
Well, many things no longer fit into many of these boxes
And I even began to question
The boxes themselves and their purpose
And, in many ways
I was taught by my society
What things are and were
And many of these things
Had also ceased to be in my mind
My return also became an end
Of and to what all I had thought an end to the
“Rat race” would be for me
But, once returned
It was not how I had thought it would be
I mean it would be done or achieved in any event
Me being now left unfit for it
With and due to my new self-perceived mindfulness
Due in large part to thoughtlessness
On my part and in my actions there in this far off place
I had changed and was now unfit
To function and relate after so many years out there in foreign lands
After really getting out there
And really experiencing places overseas
And through this and through it all I am still me
And, I have “become” in a sense, to and of myself
But, so far, this has been achieved
Only in my own thoughts and in my own mind
So far only there have I reached this
And strangely enough, now, thankfully
Strangely no complete bliss have I achieved
Anymore or further after knowing things foreign
I now know that I still know and understand so little
And yearn to know more
And how much further might I have gone!
Even through, I might have been able to at one time feel bliss
When it would have been chemically induced
In states such as these I should bear in mind, mindfulness
And now there is not any rest to bear in this mind of mine
Nor any vestiges of restrained thinking
At least this is as it feels to me, much of the time
Something like this is no secret state of mind
For some of those who alter their brain chemistry
For years on end in far flung parts of the world
As I see it, in a way, I am heading to become the end goal of myself
And through experiences lived and things seen and witnessed
My mind feels now more and more free to wander freely
And my spirit feels, at times
Due to struggles and difficulties I have experienced
And due to seeing how harsh this world can be
And how cold others can be, at times
It feels to me, at times, to be
What it might now be
In my unfelt and unexpressed
And often unseen clearness of a myriad of thoughts
And that which is withered and almost a flicked out flame
That was what at times was this exuberance of mine
And I ponder my reaction to this and regarding this
If it even be true, or, if it be that I am just tired of life, perhaps, a bit
And I question if we even have a soul to begin with
And to me, it seems now for it to be my end goal to continue on this way
And someday, perhaps, not too far off, I hope
For the soul to perhaps end up full with plenitude
And I have been put out, and put off, but not all together adrift
And fire is not just the physical form of the burning flame
It is also the heat and light it exudes
And I am interested to see
What would remain if it were to go out completely, this soul
I wonder what life force there would be to be living with
And living with what is only the “physical realm and form”
And, at times, I feel mute to even the changes
Of the sun and moon and the celestial bodies
And even sometimes to those around me
As it is, it seems, to me, for many things in this world
That there is often no reason to comment much on them
And to let them be, and to just let things be, because living is about experiencing life
And it is not worth it to dwell too much on many things
It often being a waste of time, to ruminate too much
When there are more important things to apply and put yourself to and do
And, as I go about making my way in this world, as best I can
And making a way for myself to live as I wish, as much, and as often as I can, as I can
I see, that we all, each and every one of us, in a way, and in our own way
Sell ourselves, to be able to support ourselves and to make a go of it in this world
And I wish to sell myself for what little harm may be done to myself and others
While gaining the most I can and while living to the utmost
With my use of my time and the developing and changing reality that I experience daily
While I am on this planet and around others, existing
It now seems to me that my path is to search and strive
To become and morphe and embody someday, perhaps, if it is to be
What I am starting to identify within me as my anti-ego

Life Changes
By Dan Bickert

At times in my life I have chosen wrong
And when that has happened
I have paid the price
I have tried to learn from my mistakes
The best I can and could
And will continue to try to do so
And to do better the next time
To do things better
To do the best I can
And that is all I think can be expected of me
Because the choices we make
By us are made by us and no one else
And I take the blame or the rewards and face the consequences
And I also take full responsibility for my choices
So much depends on what we choose
These choices make up our lives
And can make or break us
What I do with my choices and opportunities
And why I choose to do what I do
These choices to choose certain things or not
Have led me to where I am today
What were my intentions at the time?
And were they either selfish
And I was looking out for my own self interest
Or were they not so at all and I was looking out for others
Or looking at the big picture
And what are my motives even
Behind the choices that I have made
For me to pass things up
Or, to not to, and either way, it was up to me
It was my decision at the time
And these choices and their outcomes
I have had to deal with and live with
I will take on the future
Whether it be tough going or not
Challenging or not
Or even if it turns out to be completely unexpected
Or, if there be even better
Or more wonderful and pleasant things to come

I’s, Me’s, You’s, Uses, and also Youses
by Dan Bickert

I'll, you'll, we'll struggle for my, your, our
Promises and pledges to each other
To hope for them to be completed
And for nothing to be done in vane
I hope that we can accomplish this
It is that which we have set out to do
And if we do our best at it
To make this happen to the extent that we can
And are able to
And for them to come to fruition these
And for us to not lose sight of what is at hand
And to know what is at stake in a final irreversible decision
That one can not go back on
And what are the outcomes of this and of that
And what may come about?
These may be composed of circumstances and the uncontrollable
That may prevail over even our best efforts
In certain situations or circumstances
In our life at pivotal points and crucial times
That have lead us to seek out answers
To make the most of opportunities presented to us
To find more choices out there
That may lead us to more possible eventualities
Then the opportunities before given us
That have brought about change for and in us
And are new and interesting options in life for both me and you
For these to be taken either for bad or for worse or for better
This will certainly be found out as the future unfolds
And the decisions not taken
Those that were chosen not to be taken
Or those taken for the wrong reasons
It seems to me, to be, that I, and that you, and that we, us
All try to prove to each other and to ourselves
You to me, me to you, and each to each other
That it could be that you and me should work together
And we all might have many things in common
And many interests in common, in what’s at stake
And often with common interests come alliances
And with what we say and do
And the motives behind them
We can either bring about good results or bad one
It depends on the decisions we make
If we all, as a whole, all together, working as one, in unisom
We could work together or, if we can not
It will or could be that we will be torn apart
And so very much would be lost
I think we can do it better together

----------
By Dan Bickert

I have learned from growth
That growth can take place
Often due to the struggles and lessons in life
And in the easy times
I have learned when to take it easy
And when to take a well needed vacation
And, also, when to buckle-down
When to choose something
And when not to choose something
This also leaves other choices open to be made
To be either made or not to be made
To take at a certain moment
Or to take later, or to let them go
Depending on what one thinks is best
Good timing in life is essential and it comes with experience
And to pass up a choice and to choose something else
Well, we find out later if it was
Or if it was not a good decision, later on
Depending on how things had panned-out
And if it was for either better or for worse
And that often depends on one’s point of view of the situation
And of what kind of insights you might have
It could be up to chance all together how certain things turn out
Or up to something else altogether
Or even the unknown
Something that you may not even be aware of
Or, up to someone else, who is to know
Or, who knows, on so many occasions what may pass

_______
By Dan Bickert

I try my best, I try to do my best
And that for me is the best that I can do
I will continue to do so and to never give up
I fuck up, that’s for sure, often, and have over and over
Sadly enough, and on too many occasions
And often this happens because I take risks
Sometimes stupid ones, acting imprudently
But, for a reason, it is often to enjoy myself
To live it up and to enjoy myself
I often pay for it later or, in the final outcome
Yes, learning but not making better choices the next time, this I have done
And, while and when not knowing which is better
Of an option to choose out of those presented me
Makes it tougher, and harder
To get it right when the time comes to choose
And to choose wisely and to make the right choices
At the time and in the future
Or maybe not to choose at all on certain occasions
But instead to pass things up
No matter how appealing they might seem
Sometimes with little thought of what might be better
And of knowing that there might be better choices to come
And if better ones do come to you, and do arise
You never know even about their outcomes
Or, what any of the final outcomes of your choices may be
Nor what will happen when a split second decision is made in an instant
A rash one
I think all of us have made those
Those tend to be the ones than most often do not turn out well
If it turns out to be a good choice, all the better
Or, if another would have been better
Sometimes it is good just to move on
And to do better later with what you have learned
And the best thing to be done in that occasion
Is to, in the future, try to analyze your situation as best you can
And many regrets arise with time
Us knowing that it could have been done differently
And often it should have been done differently
And that we knew better
And that there is much more to life and living
Than what we were told growing up
Things can be done right
It’s not too late
There are second chance
It can be done the right way
As we go on learning
Get better at it
If we could just do our best
And I, and you, and we
Say and do things for different reasons
And our motivations, good or bad
Often show what is important to us
Often times, by, or through
What we think would be the best
Choices on certain occasions
Some of these do not work out
And some end up saying: “I told you so”
And what we do, and have done
These mean we’re taking action and doing things
When we don’t really want to do something
Or, to get something done or even to try something
There is a reason behind it
To discern these allows us to know
What’s sometimes in our subconscious
Or, perhaps it be our unrecognized motivations
And, not everything is genuine or as it seems at first glance
Life can be confusing
We live figuring things out as we go
What we see and hear are sometimes said to deceive us
But, not always, do they, or do they get one by us
Many things are disingenuous, accept it, it’s true
It is hard to trust others, and sometimes harder to get through
And not everything heard should be taken to heart or at face value
And things must be looked at from different perspectives
Of what it might be, or the intention of it
Some things are said for a deliberate reason
Some things are said off the cuff
However, to me, there is almost always a motive
And many times an ulterior one
To be tricked, or have one gotten over on you
Or for someone else to win in the end
And for you to lose, or lose out
It is at your own expense these things
When you could have seen it coming
Or that you were fooled
Remember, once bitten twice shy
And they also say something about thrice
And those who don’t get it the first or second time
And what about a straight up lie?
And getting fooled easily, does that make you a fool?
When it was something that needed to be uncovered
And discerned and sussed out
On these occasions or in certain locations it is key to do this
If you are, or want to get by
And to survive in tough or rough place
And not continually be done over
And screwed over, or to be taken advantage of
And if these things were deliberately done to you
Believe me, that either that you are not fit for such places
Because you are naive or green
Or that it is that you are just inexperienced with such things
And if green, maybe you haven’t learned yet
While others don’t learn from their mistakes
Or, heard about what to beware of when you step into these environments
And maybe you have not learned from other lessons in life
Not yet at least, and it may not be the first time
Better sooner rather later
To not take things superficially
Those that seem to be one thing but are really another
And them being not what you thought they were
And that you were mistaken
Take a good look in the mirror
Try to understand who you are
Who you are to others
And what others are to you
That is a good start and a good thing to do
Also, it is important to recognize what others mean to you
Or, what they should mean to you
And to let this determine how you treat them
Why is this so important?
So that you know where you stand
And thus, why it is so important what you mean to others
And why it is dangerous to be around people who you mean nothing to
And for what reason and who these others are to you
And who are you to them
And finding out that things
Are not always what we think
That makes us more leery
And at times we should be leery
And, nothing at all is as it seems to be
And even the most clever get fooled
And for a green-horn it is easy to be fooled
Or, to be the butt of a joke
Or to feel like a dunce
Or a dumb-ass
Or someone who is not fit to do certain things in life
Because of lack of ability or know-how
To feel like someone who does not fit-in
Or is not part of the crowd
Or, is not cool
Or, even perhaps not accepted by others
Not one of the clicks that he wants to be in
Or believing that things are what they are
When it first it is heard and then to not know better
This is why it is crucial to come to understandings
About yourself and what is around you
Where you belong
Where you fit in
And what suits and fits you
And seeing things for their true essence
Their make-up and for what they are
This will save you struggles and hardship in life
Overcoming these or not is up to you
Endurance, both mental
As well as physical are important and can be developed
Senses and skills sets can be honed
As well as aptitudes
Determination is not always innate
It can be picked up, learned
And put to use
It is tougher on the hard headed than the open minded
To accept many things in life and to learn
And patience is truly a virtue
And learning is to grow as a person through experience
And we all find out that not everything comes to us when we want it to
And that we can’t make it all happen at once
Or, in our own way
And when we learn that to get by in this life
Or, to even get over on someone
Is something that at some point everyone might have to do
And to get above the rest in this king of the hill game of life
In this rough and tumble no hold barred world
Winning means compromising yourself much of the time
And not everything is about winning
Sometimes winning at all costs can do harm
To others and even to yourself
And doing what you have to do to win is not often pretty
Those who get there, the winners
Are not always the best of people
And not always should they be held up as examples
In this life a hardness, a tough exterior
Can form and develop over time
And a tough side can come about
With sharp edges
And a hardness
Because of people doing unto you
And so many of them being callous
Especially when you needed a soft touch
And they bludgeoned you
And learned hopefully are the lessons
From the times when one has slipped-up, or screwed-up
With mistakes made insights can be learned
And understandings made
As well as perspective developed
Others perspectives, when understood
Can lead to open mindedness
And those that test your peau dur
I believe often are the weak ones
On the inside, and striking out at you
In order to be on the attack
And to deflect attention away from themselves
And being savvy
And worldly
Can do a world of good for you out there
And serve you well
And it can be uncovered and undermined
The strengths of your enemies
By going after their weakness
When things are in you way
And you want to get what you want
There are sometimes necessary means to be used
Many others would do such things to you
If they were in your position
And found themselves in your your particular situation
In such circumstances insights are very useful
They help us to get along better
To understand things
And to grow as people
And in who we are
And to learn about life
And who we are, and how we behave in different situations
Around others and with whom we interact
This interconnectedness is all around us
It is where we live
It is what is around us
And it is in our surroundings
To understand what things truly are
And too understand them
We must see their true make-up
This will show us what they are
And to understand yourself
And who we are
And what we are all about
And where we are wanting to go
And why we want to go there
And how we can get there
It is well worth what one might have to go through
Even if it has been tough thus far
And to have come through tough situations
That were perilous to make it through
And to have come out on top
And to have come to understandings through it
To have learned more about life
And to know more about what is really going on
Shows that we have tried
And done things in our lives
And have been through some shit, perhaps, at times
You have taught me
I have learned from you
I have been tricked also
Snookered
Outdone
And shown up
But, many other times
I have noticed things essential
Sometimes right at the moment when I needed to
Or, have been informed of important information
Or, have taken note of something important in a key situation
And these many a time have helped me
To avoid these things happening to me
And to get on well in certain situations
Where otherwise I would not have
And to not ruffle any feathers
And to get out sometimes, just in time
And the fact that we
Rub up against each other all the time
And as we get older we get wiser
And learn from life and from our own decisions
And this makes our interactions better
From your, and ours, and yours
And from my choices to be made as best they can be
We must understand things
Such as relationships and interaction between people
And for eventual outcomes and their effects on us
And on others to be the best they can be
We must discern things around us
Teaching and learning throughout life and while living
Is often an example of us enseigant l'un á l'otre
We both are at times teachers and students
In this life, often times at the same time
It seems to me that we name things
And label them as we see them
Or believe them to be
So as not to confuse ourselves or others
It does not mean they they are this or are so
Incompetence in life bring undue things to us and others
And these can lead to dangerous situations
And people who are incompetent
Bring on incompetence
And bring little to the table
And most certainly incompetence
Does not bring recompense
And in life for each and every one of us
I believe one's own priorities should be done first
This may seem selfish but I do put myself first
And priorities I believe should be ranked
In order of one's own personal importance put on them
And in this world and in this life
It can be seen that there are blood bonds between some
And other bonds between some who can often be like brothers
And there are no bonds at all between some and many others
This is known by both, and by each side already
That some are on one side
Some are on your side
And that some are on the other side against you
And that some on the other side and are often opposed
To What you want or what you want to do
They have something different in mind than what you do
And not being willing to work for these things shows entitlement
I am and have been willing to fight for what I want in this life
Not necessarily in a physical sense
Although this also I have done at times
There is always time to give to yourself
And to reward yourself
Especially for a job well done
And also time to give to others
From the heart and of goodwill
And to listen to who is around you
And to what they are saying
And to think about why they are saying it
And for what reason, what might even be behind it
And there is time to share with others
And also, of course to learn from others
And to exchange things about yourself with others
And for them to share things with you
And the right time for these to be done
Depends on the moment
These things help us to grow
And to learn about those around us
About our surrounding
And to learn about others and where we are
Is valuable and important in this world
It makes life better for us
And for others
And educates and informs both us and others
And little by little understanding things about ourselves and others
And understanding our surroundings as well as those of others
Through interaction which is a give and take
Between those relating to each other
And understanding is important when a lot is at stake
We are interconnected to all of those that are around us
As I am to those who are around me
And to those who we are around
And as we are to them as well they are to us
A sharing of knowledge is so important to this interaction
And getting along with others at times makes life so much better
And, by the way, why not
For, after all, we have been through a lot
Often time even for those that have not done a lot
And why not raise a cheers to ourselves
A well done toste toast, for our efforts
While being alone but not lonely
And contemplate on this life and what it means
And to contemplate ourselves and others
And either they are with us or they are against us
Seen by our interaction with them
We see where we stand and for what
And what they stand for as well
Us as well as others
We must take time to relax
Kick-backit
Take it easy
Shoot the breeze
It is good to say to yourself in tough times
There will be better ones to come
The times that are challenging and are a changin
And those not as good as others do eventually pass
Don’t be afraid if you have failed to try again
You might succeed the next time
But you will never know unless you try
Don’t waste your time if what you are doing is not working
There are always better ways to get things done or to do things differently
And trying the exact same thing twice
Might mean trying and trying once again
Even in the wrong way
And it may not be a good idea
When it didn’t work the first time
Before you try it again
And perhaps it was not a good idea to begin with
Or maybe it was only a good idea
But not realistic
If you do it better the next time
It might work out for you
And be worth the effort
And even better than that
If you do it better than others
And if you win out above others
And spending, either energy
Or money when in the wrong way
Or too quickly
When spending it well
Would be better for you
When it is gone you can’t get it back
So spend wisely, budget
But, spend to also enjoy yourself
And why not try to make your money last
While your at it and even splurging a bit
But, don’t blow you load all at once
And then it be all over
Rest when your tired
Take time to fill your batteries
And take the time to take time to reflect
On yourself so as to to have self-understanding
Be strong when you need to be
And try to learn from the wise
So you can take on things better
And do things better
Try to do things the best you can
And to get along as best you can with others
And living like there will always be a tomorrow to come
And a new day
This might make you think that it is no big deal
To put important things off for another day
Things that are important to you
That you might not want to do now
Find a good time to do them
When you want to do them later
And as for manana, manana
And give to manana, what is manana’s
I do that sometimes
When I am just taking my time
When things could be done now
But I know I can get to them later
Or can be gotten to at at better time
Maybe not sooner maybe rather later
And don’t forget to experience and enjoy the joys of life
There are so many good things in this world
In which we live in, appreciate them
When the bad times come
And bad things happen to you
Know that there will always be a tomorrow
To look forward to
And to hope to be better than today
This can give hope
And for this, and for a better tomorrow
While living for the day
As if it was your last
And as if every single second counted
And living life like you’ve got no fear
And that you get out of it what you put in
And to get out of it what you want
You might have to at times put in all you can
At times one can be put out in left field
But not necessarily left out
And getting benched
Can be a good time to gather yourself
Get out of the fray
And get things together and in order
And in these times you can still be included
And not always completely left out
And while waiting for the unknown and unexpected
And what might come next
While not choking when it comes
And being as prepared as you can
And as ready as possible for what might come next
And honing your skills as best you
Can, when the unexpected and the unknown arises
And you never know what’s coming up next
Or, what’s coming round the bend
So it is best to be prepared
Because we don’t know the future
We don’t have a crystal ball that works
And we are not psychic
When we make life decisions
Do choose wisely
That is all you can do, or ask of yourself
And we all could get along a lot better
If we understood what our place was in this world
And maybe that depends
A lot on what yours is to mine
And what mine is to yours
And their relation to each other
And what are our common objectives in life is
Our common goal and aspirations
And what do we want as a final outcome
Or what would we like to see happen
With a hand-shake
And a final arrangement
Is it that we all are headed toward a destiny in this life
And that is the final equation and what it comes down to
Or, is it that what we do what we can do, at the time, our best
With what we have and with what has been put on the table
Or, are we able to do sometime something more
Even in difficult times and situations
And with good intentions I believe things do turn out better
Is it our destiny that this life be the compilation of our efforts?
Of what we choose determines the outcomes in our lives
And we have to deal with the hand we're dealt
And make the best of our situation
As we go on in this life making decisions
Minute by minute, day to day
Try not to be anxious
All good things come in time
And at times nothing is more invigorating to me
And maybe for some others, in these times
Than leaving where I am at or leaving home all-together
All alone, on my own, to head out into the unknown
To experience this unknown, just to give it a try
To try my luck, to roll the dice
And to see what happens
Or to see if I can make it out there
In this great big world on my own
When I know it’s tough out there
And in many ways nothing comes easy
And in every situation and in many locations
Not being determined to prove yourself to others
Leaves you not much at all
To our own selves we must be true
And we must never forget that we are not perfect
We must forgive ourselves
We are who we are
And we are what we are
And not all of it has to with us
And we, those who live here on this planet together
We should prove to ourselves and to others
Prove to each other that this planet is a worthy place to live
And a good and worthwhile location
That being born and having been given life
Was a great gift
And that we should be happy to be alive
The place that we all live and cohabitate
Planet earth
It is ours, it is our home
And we share it
We all share in its future
As we share a common past
And sharing means not keeping everything to yourself
In this place we share both the good and the bad
After all, we all live together on this planet
As I mentioned
And we deserve a better future
For ourselves and our children
And we need to leave behind rivalries and grudges from the past
With just a look around we should all know it, it's so clear
Understanding things and figuring them out
And making sense of things around us
And doing our best to play a fair game
And let it all hang-out, to that I say “fair play”
Even when it is all on the line
I say to that, and those who live like this:
“Better than fair play mate”
Your setting the standard
Although I didn’t choose to be part of it to begin with
I had no choice in being born
I was brought into this world not of my own accord
But, being alive and experiencing this
In this life which I choose to embrace
Grasp, take hold of, and get the most out of
Win or lose, it’s not a game
So much is at stake
We have one life to live
Let’s all make the most of it
And try to get to it right
We must, at some point, this is it
It might be our last and only shot at it
To live how want
For things to be how they should be
While respecting and considering each other
And to make the most of this life and to live it to the fullest
We must make every moment count
Time goes by so fast
There’s no time to waste
The time is now
It’s now or never
Let’s get to it
And, perhaps, some day
Between us all, one day
We will know it all
And have it all figured out
Down to the tee
And, maybe, if we ever get there, and we get it right
And arrive to common understandings
To avoid conflicts, scraps and fights
We will know how to get along together, oh so much better
It is up to us, we should be up to it
It can be done, it is achievable
With us working with one another and together
We can share the knowledge we gain
And have now and in there future
A world much better
And share it with each other the way it should be
And between us we must forge ahead
To reach a hopefully
A day in the future
Where this world where all live
Is together as one

A Poet
By Dan Bickert

I put this poem together
Considering myself now a bonafide poet
In my own heart and mind
While I slowly get myself together
After years of disregarding material things
But while at the same time challenging myself
I have been such a mess for so long
That to do this will be a long process, I know
But I am not doing it all alone
I thankfully have shoulders of others
And those I can lean on
I couldn’t and wouldn’t be able to do it by myself
Or, even have a chance of doing it all alone
Luckily others are there and willing to help
As I go about, yes, gathering myself
Their aid has been crucial
In putting myself back together
Getting my life together
That I fear I may never again maybe even be
A shadow of my old self
And, why was I just winking?
And I question to myself
And I know the answer
It is self evident
The answer is
That even after all that I have been and put myself through
And the mistakes that I have made
And self-destructive behavior
And these kinds of choices I have made
That I still love myself
And that this is why, and with this
I will never be defeated
And that this is what now gives me strength
To continue on and to try to do better
And to better myself

And it is, and it be, as if it always was so
And let me live life, let me live as I see fit
Let me live freely, and let live all
And all should be as it is meant to be
And don't be afraid to give it your all
And don’t fear failure
And if all of us are truly in this together
Then we should think about each other
And we should all work together
Under the heavens above
In this home of ours earth
With the time we have here

I Say Now
By Dan Bickert

I say now to whoever reads this
That I think nothing should restrain personal preference
And/or choice, other than harming the "Other"
Because, in this life in some strange way
All of us together are tied together
And we should live life as we see best and see fit
And we'd all get along better
If in the same direction we all pulled together
And used our force for the better all together
And for the common good
Of us all, at once, and for all
To make things better

Wandering thoughts
By Dan Bickert

Often my thoughts wander off
And I don’t know why they go to where they do
I know where they wander off too
Often, to times when things went wrong for me
Even still, I often wonder
Why there when other times and things
Have gone so well for me
And why there are certain things we dream of
And, can we choose where our mind wanders off to when it does so?
And, I hope that we are actually are free to choose
And even when I am daydreaming
I am often planning what in the future I might do
Why is it that certain things interests me so much, this I wonder
And why do I get so hung up on so much stuff

New Poem or part of one?

At a time, I did not love myself so much
But, I did love someone else, a whole mighty lot
I loved her next to me nightly mightily
When she was asleep I wondered where her dreams wandered off to
And what she dreamed of
And what she wanted to be and do with her life
And what she wanted out of life
It was hard to get a straight answer out her on anything
And I think it was because she was playing me
I wondered what her dreams were
And if I fit into any future plans and in her future plans
Other than to get her out of a third-world country
My dear, I think to myself, as if she was here, and could hear
For better or for worse...
I say to you, why is it so?
And who are we now?
And where will it all lead to and go?
And I decided not to say “I do”
Nope never, yep ever
While still being obedient
To above all unconditional love
And if she would accept these terms
I would ask her to say "I will"
And often times those in love will or would say anything
To keep that love going and growing
Therefore, and thusly
We are as we happen to be
And it is great to feel and to be free

The Rising High (Speedball)

Radiant spinning twisting bodily bliss
While being with it, and in it
In which it moves to the way of the changed day
And without being within my head
And not lost in it, and not having lost it
Within it, and from it too
Fueling lightness is embraced from within my body
The boundless internal descent of the rising high radiates, that’s right
As my bodily sensations sing out throughout
And from and under its influence
I now know what it’s all about, this
That which has been brought on artificially
And has been chemically induced
This high rises above all things I have ever felt or known before
While it seems that there is nothing above me in this instant
And nothing below and only pleasure within
While I guard my breathing and sink into this feeling
Feeling and living and being completely in the moment
My nerves sooth in flaming rapture at its height
Feeling so good should give fright
As my center sucks in and holds this powerful force
Vague swirling thoughts assess the essence of this close to perfect sensation
Living the ecstasy, as its force greatens through form from that which it is taken, and taken in
While knowing that this feeling will not last forever and that it is not of myself
However, what greater than this when it comes to things such as this
With this I have reached almost complete bliss, I can’t believe this
Vastly it saunters through the just expression of the moment
While I am in each and every moment of this first time experience
My mind, and my thoughts and my will are willed by it. What is this?
And the moments sing out while it reverberates within
And this has brought from my life’s experiences a new world of experience within
Of the underlined and outlined and the explosive potential of this
And the nature of mixed and combined substances and of their joint effects
l be there, which is here, within this, and all at once, this is
While it is materialized through sensation in my mind and body
Here and there, and, above it all, as well as below it all, and it is all felt in me at once
All within, but from without, and for me, in this moment, it is what I am all about
My nerve energy flows in a momentous and invisible tangible pleasure cave
Of sense expressed in feeling of where I am, and at within, in and at each and every moment
It being the induced breath of a smooth soothing calm even tide within a high tide
And being within it and feeling it and knowing the throb of this artificially brought on calm fervour
It goes beyond the expected, and I fear, that again, I shall take the risk, to feel this once more
And it is in the string of these moments in which it is forgotten all strife in my life
And tomorrow, or the day after, or both, when my body is drained and I feel sapped of strength
And exhausted from what it takes out of the body and mind to feel like this
I will remember that there is a price, indeed, to pay to feel this good and to feel other highs
And that there is also a price to pay for everything, and every experience
Even and especially for things that come so easily as this

The 1% Ruling Class Exploiters of the 3rd World

The vacant sound of the residuum
Of now lifeless and tuneless greatness of past powers in the world
The remembrance of those held dear to us in the past that we now miss
And what I have acquired along the way, amongst other things
Although not really any material wealth or possessions to speak of
Are sweet highly valued, hung in my mind, for my own delight
Beautifully framed memories of my life
Although I have also have had my ups and downs, of course
Some of them extreme indeed
And of these experiences
Those that are sometimes whispered into the ears of friends
When others around you might be listening who are not of your type
In close quarters often and of secretly sung melodies
Of mutual endeavors and adventures
That never was sung of a sweet song beliething blithing comfort
In the manner that ease causes slackness
And the grand parade of hollow concealment
And of lifeless stowment that comes with it
And what of our days and nights out all alone and far from home
Avoiding the insidious oppressive repercussions of prowling trappers
And, not just theirs, but often our own
And what of their getaways and places of stay
Places of uncomfortableness often for those like me
They have become purveyors of awkward situations and interactions
For me, and I am sure, for others
While these be their places of hiding and their abodes
Where often they chose, in these kinds of places to dwell
And where they feel safe, and at ease, and comfortable
Places where they and those like them are, those, and theirs
These places where we are reminded so clearly
Of what they think of people not of their pedigree
And of those like us that stand in such stark contrast to them
Although beautiful, these are not pleasant places always
For those of us who wander and look for truth in this ever changing world
Or for those that live a life apart from them, either, no less
These kinds of places are a reminder of inequality
And to those that are disregarded by them and swept under the rug
Let “relief” be my middle name and theirs be “leave” and thine be “Indian brother”
And to them I say: mosey on down the road
I hope to, at least, some day, have them move on, and to piss off
And the motif of this here writing, in its gray written trappings
Within this juncture in the junction of our passing
Hints to me that surely in a daydream of our kind of wonders and glories
Or perhaps things seen by them that were interpreted
One way or the other but weren’t really that at all, or one or the other
Or perhaps were something else altogether or misinterpreted
Because, perhaps it is, that they are unable to see the true nature of things
And that some such things such as suffering
Or poverty, often extreme poverty, even of their own people
That these things would at least startle them
To realize what is really going on and to feel for others
And begin to awaken them for their pleasure slumber of a life
And these things would have in such a way
Have awakened their eyes and ears and consciousness
For them truly to take hold of their lives and to begin to care for humankind
And to see beyond material possessions and the trappings of wealth
And to care for at least their countrymen instead of just themselves
Or perhaps coming to terms with these kinds of things would just undo their psyches
And the winged verbal swoop of the awakened
Startles them each and every time
Due to their blind self-worth lack of insight
Which consists of improper thought fomented
In their walled fortresses of avoidance in a self-imposed
Stay in their own iron maddens of confusion within these
It being their own choice to depart from
And they know the way out
Which, to no surprise, through time their brutish disregard
For others and their poor behavior
A legacy they carry on from colonization
Has sapped them of the very strength necessary that they would need to egress
Without courage they go on, forward, in this way, in their kind of selfish glory
While me with my endurance to test what I can do with my time
And to go distances and to cover space, in my own way
And know what I can of the world around me
And to try to look into the heart of humankind
As a man who bespeaks unto them thusly, I am not like them
And they are barons of the barren
And concealment conjures their outward image
But, me, I believe I have discerned their true selves autonomous narcissism
And, their fellow citizens have not coin
Because they want for more and want to keep as much of it as they can for themselves
When they have so much, and I dare not ask for too much from anyone
And, me, at times, I have been left to the pestilence of need
But, not to the degree of so many others who suffer from it
And of those who suffer from it extremely
This, need, also, at times, can be fatal and it stalks daily and nightly
While I, through it all, am surly because of what I do not yet have
But am working towards
And what others also do not have but should
And I am disgusted by the unfairly acquired amount of wealth that some have
And their material excesses and indulgences disgust me
While they indulge themselves in this endemic commonality amongst them
A fallback that should be a thing to fear
Which is their scourge for others of typical morose loathing
For those that step out of the world of comfort and leave it behind, such as me
And for those that they see as less than them and perhaps even as inferior
Lifeless is their splendor and I would want to transform myself into a street jackal
If these dirty third world ruling classes were to be forced to amble down the streets
And, for those that dwell in the shadow of their avarice due to neglect
I have seen some of your struggles, even some firsthand
And I cry out, “End it! Resolve it! You can do this!”
While I rest in the penumbra of my own self made struggles and troubles
But at least in peace at times and at times at peace with myself, to a degree
In this silent swirling march forward in the hopeful advancement of humankind
In an ever smaller global village that we now seem to be living in
Hopefully someday it will lead to an end to this, and so many other atrocities
And that this end would end in a final swan-song for them
Perhaps, and one never sung aloud by them
But this would do so much good for so many
Real change in the world and on a meaningful level
Then, at that time, at this time, hopefully in a time to come
Not far off, but who is to know, those that side with them
And theirs and those that support them and protect them
Those that propagate and protect this flaw in an imperfect system
That basically benefits the few to a large extent with the marginalized left to dangle
And it is so in large swathes of the world and at so many levels
If it would be that, this happens, and that they
And theirs would be put out of power and replaced by better stuarts
This change would underlie the actions and motives of so much and of so many
And of them, and of those who are not them, not theirs, those not of their stripes
And dreams of one to advance and remedy the sad reality of life for so many
That go on fighting for social equality in so many parts of the world
And against marginalization and against oppression and repression
Against these things and against the horrifying amount of unfairness in the world
Someday this imbalance will hopefully end for those that live
Or will live in their realms some day, for the better good of us all
It has gone on too long and hope feeds so much of my dreams and I believe ours
Because of the dearth of what we have to build our dreams of
And to them, and theirs: take it as it comes
Chill-out, I say, if they know how to or can, come back down to earth
Your merde stinks too, pardon my French
But, know that I would come one day, if I can, or could
I’d come to change this, to remedy this, if I knew how to or really could
And do my best to change this part of an often such unfair economic system
While, for the time being, I go on doing what I’ve been doing
Go on living my life as best I can as a flawed and myself imperfect man
While I spend my time as I have spent a good part of my adult life
Grooving simpatico with the beat-down
And with the downtrodden on the low-down
And if I ever make it to the top, I would then encourage
Those without, to work to find a way to redistribute the wealth
Which I believe can be done, and to do it in the best possible way
And spread around their plenty, so that all share in the bounty
And all cups be filled to the brim, for all, and so that none go without
Because I believe there is enough for all, and enough to go around
And that there is no need for anyone to go without
But, until then, if this ever comes to pass, which it should
The suffering and poverty will go on in the world
And I detest them, those that profit unfairly and for their own benefit
Those that live so large in their opulence and extravagance
When so many in their nations and the world go without
And I actually look down on them and scorn them
For their indifference to it all
And the suffering that they seem to not care about
And this says so much about them and how, and who they are
And that if the tables were to turn
And those that would have the power in such a situation
I hope, would not become like them
And that they would be in stark contrast to them
That they in such a situation would remember where they came from
And continue the struggle to make the world a better place to live in for all

Egomet
by Dan Bickert

I and I am
I, me
I
I am
But who am I?
Am I really who I think I am?
What ever it may be
I am
I am what I am?
But, who am I?
I am who I am
Am I who I was?
I was who I was
Who was I?
Was I?
I was
For me, I am not interested in who I might be
And always changing is who and how I am
Because I am always changing with life experience
It is important who I was because it has to do with who I am
And who I was before that and who I become
I wasn’t at the time who I am now
I was and I am and I was how I was
And, I will be what and how I will be
I am and I was
Because I am?
I am always changing how I am
I am and I am
And, I am how I am
I was
I am
And I will be
I esteem myself
And not let what others think
Enter my thoughts
Nor who I was or who I wasn’t
Because it can be interpreted from so many views
And keep in mind, in this life
And on this planet which we all share
All things are changing
And on this planet
I am with you, in a sense
As we share this planet
You are with me
We are with each other
And you are with us
God is with us
And in that all we are together
And with how far we have come
From where it all began
The aught of origin
Or, of what there was before there was
And, each one’s individual ought
The sea as the origin and cradle of life
And our dreams
The dreams we have held
The dearest of them
Held closer
So much closer than the rest
And humankind yearning
For scenes where we have not yet strided
Where one has never wept
Nor laughed, nor anguished
And unknown places
Yet undiscovered place
Just to be there
Or to be in heaven
Even in a dream sweetly slept
Or to catch just a wink there
Resting untroubled
While on this planet
Living through the struggles
And grapples of life
Terrene below
And firmament
Above the untouchable sky

Evasive Answers to Direct Questions
by Dan Bickert

Which way’s up Doc?
And, why is it not easier living and learning?
And I wonder to myself:
Why is it so hard for me to get things right?
Being an adult for me
Has been even harder than it ever was growing up
And often times when we grow-up
We grow out of whatever it might be
That had been bothersome to us
And, I ask:
How are you treating yourself?
I thought it would be the right question for me to ask
As I tried to put things in perspective
And I ask myself:
What do I consider strife?
And, how does it compare
To what I have been through
And am going through
And how is life treating you?
And I next ask myself
As I compare my life to some others lives
And of what I have seen or heard
Of others lives
Some might have been much worse
And decide that I am doing alright
And, if you don’t mind me asking
Some things to you, a simple question
For example, such as:
And what to you is the sanctity of life?
Have a go, take a stab at it
It is good, I think, to think
Even about simple or trivial things
Not that these questions are such
I think it might be a good place to start
WIth these questions
To help me get to where I’m going
Which I am on the path to do
A path to understanding myself a
And how I interpret the wold
And I try to have some idea about what’s going on
As a way to go about knowing
What my takes are on this my and this life
And in this moment of self reflection
I ask myself:
What are you really thinking?
And is it different than what your writing
And I answer myself:
I am writing what I want to

Strangely Alone but at Least not Amongst Stragglers
by Dan Bickert

I am now beset by cloudy days and a rain that continues to come forth
But the storms of the past that I have ere been through
Those have all past and gone as all things do
And so much should be left in or to our past, I think
So as not to hinder one in the future
So that one can move on to bigger and better things
Just as all that was done before has ended
I know I should move on and continues even when upended
And all that will come after and all that has passed
Are things that I have been through and lived
These also will fade, as visions do, and as all things do, in the end
Each and everything, as even the most beautiful of painting do too
Nothing lasts forever and things are always changing
As they also always will do
I now, in this moment, I recall to mind pleasant days of the past
Unbidden those are now but I am still a little bit dispirited
And, wherefore might it not but be
That hope, with the right frame of mind
Arises without too much delay to spur us on and keep us going
And, at a time, I had thought life to be for one’s own personal pleasure
And for life to be for the taking
And for one and all it was this way, and for us all
And that enjoying yourself was the name of the game and the word of the day
And that that was the thing to do just about each and every day
I thought cheer and fun to be the standard in life
And did not realize, that for some, it is an unusual thing in life
However, silence sits upon me now as ruins of the past sit high-lone
And I am with recollections as heavy as stone
Good feelings, once so present
Have dispersed and disappeared
And, in my mind and heart
I hope for them to return some day
As I return to my memories my mind wanders off now to better times
Which have passed much as fables do to ore of lore of the past
Hollow to me now is all that I shall never see again in my life
And hollow shelter have I from the strife of life’s downpour
The present has again gotten perilous again
As I straddle the thin edge of chaos
And I sense danger on the vast canvass of my surroundings
Lies told, lie heavy and lifeless on me once unearthed
And they, once discovered, and able to be discerned show still more
I have heard so many that I can’t even think of guessing how many I have been told
Discerning one feels like a retreating respiration
From an inhale of emptiness in and of its intention
When a lie is discerned and the truth discovered
Words make poor acquittances as descriptions for us
And here I am now and brooding a bit over
What time has hence pinched from my fleeting memory
I have left pleasing sights behind
To search out new places and environs
And to search out new and yet undiscovered things to me
I do not find myself in a pleasant situation now nor in such a great place
It is often a roll of the dice, where I end up, and how it goes
But, at least I was in beautiful places for a time
And in places where I had enjoyed myself
And, also, for a time I had been lucky
To be surrounded by good people and friends
I fear never to have the optimism I once did again
If this goes on too much longer
Serious negativity might set in
The ability to so easily recall to mind again pleasant places
Gets harder and harder
As I go to more and more poor or unpleasant places, in a certain way
Where now I can only afford to live
And the good times I have lived, and when I was living it up
I want to hold onto them so my spirits stay up
I don't wish to be beaten down and broken within
If I do not find a way out of this situation soon it may be too late
I hope to have another chance to do it right the next time
While all of this passes through my mind
I sit alone and all by myself
And regard things pendule listlessly before me in the wind
And I sit motionless now from exhaustion
And energy spent just to get by
And to make it to the next day
That is how dire things have gotten for me at the moment
But I know it’s not the end, things will turn around for me
If I keep trying and trudge on through this until it turns around
And as I behold out upon all that remains of what has aged
And what has been left wasted in front of me by neglect
And what still out there remains from when it was a season of plenty
Of times when things were better and life was more comfortable and easier
There were better times and I know more will come again, I do know this for sure
And I know it could be much worse and that it has been before
And the better times and seasons of plenty I have lived before
Like life, are cyclical, there are ups and downs
That we all go through, I know this
Though it is no consolation at this time but, I know it will be better
I now stand up, and begin to walk forward, searching out what might be out there
Wandered are the wintery fields by the lost
And I am lost, and now wondering
And, I do so with what strength I can gather
From good thoughts of good times in my mind
I look back over them now, churning them over in my mind
While shivering from the cold and with the icy wind in my face
And me, I am with a longing again for the way the waves danced
Full of tumultuous jocund at sea shore
On warm lazy days by the ocean, while being kissed by the gentle breeze
Or of the peaceful nights outside all alone
When even the owls had grown still
And of the calmness I felt inside
When I knew things were good and it was all alright
And when optimism reigned in my mind and in my outlook on life
And of the excitement I felt when I thought of what there was to be lived
And done with my time and self and of all of the options I had
Nature tends to hide her face at which hour that lady is seen in chains
And drearily tethered are creatures when they are caged and neglected
And they weep a sad song out loud in their displeasure
Their restrain murmurs, at times, are the only complaints that they can muster
Winter has since set in and she has plastered the brilliance of warm beautiful summer days
And hide nature’s creatures that are now sheltered
Or hibernating until summer returns again
They want nothing to do with this at all
With all this, and I don’t blame them, I don't either
My own heart now chills when my thoughts return
To other uncomfortable or perilous times I have lived
And one of these I am living now in my present existence
And I hope soon it will be over and I will move on to brighter days
I have made it through some other tough stints before
Often, at which hour, I thought I could go not a step further
I am now older and physically weaker than before
But, I also now have more resolve than ever before
And, in times of exhaustion that I have pushed through, before
When even sitting down to rest or laying down for a nap was not an option
Because I need to move on and out of where I was, further on down the line
At crucial and pivotal times, In some of these I had been thrown crumbs
By someone who I didn’t even know cared
But malas migas these were not, they may have been just crumbs
But, the gesture at times can mean so much
Especially from the poor-off
And these crumbs gave me what I need to make it through
This more than once has kept me going on-ward and helped me make it out
But, often I needed much more than crumbs
And there was no one there to give
Even still, those close to me would not have had much more of their own to part with
Or to to spare, or to share even though in their hearts they would have wanted to
And, others, that could and should have due to the situation
And due to their relationship to me did not have it in them to help even a bit
Or, maybe it was that they just did not know how to
Or, did not see the trouble that I was in
Sometimes it was guidance I need, others times it was advice
A few times it was money I need, and only just a bit, enough to get by
To get me out of where I was and on to a better situation
Maybe when what I needed was not there it was because
Those around me, they did not know what was needed
Or have had the know-how to lend a hand even though they cared
We all need things at times, for me, sometimes I need a shoulder to cry on
Or, someone just to say “it will be alright” or just “I care”
Something to give me new hope and to spur me on was all I need at times
To help me get through what it was I was in
And that would have sufficed
Would have helped to do things right, I believe, many a time
And I would have avoided, then, some of the pit-falls, that I have gotten into
Because I either would have known better
Or because at the time I did not know better
I am talking mostly about those closest to me
And it is disappointing when, at times like these
They are not there in the way you need them
Or need them to be, or when you need them most
And those around me so often were poor
Or, in want themselves, or lacked themselves
And because of that, at times, they had no way of helping
And had nothing to give me at all
It can be tough being out there away from home for so long alone
From where you are from and in a foreign place
You can lose your sense of direction
Even lose who you are, and even forget where you come from
And this can make it hard for you to find your way home
Being out, far away, far from family and friends
That is part of why at times I became lost, and need assistance and help
Because I was out in the unknown
In foreign countries and cultures that were mysterious to me
I often felt lost and lonely, this lead me to seek comfort where I could
Often, in the wrong places and from people I shouldn’t
To carry on and to keep on keepin on and to keep living this way
And going about things this way has taken its toll
I am now a changed man much more knowledgeable than before
More prepared to go back out there in many ways
But, also spent in some ways, and also damaged
Both mentally and physically from what I have been through
My life was not what I expected it to be when I started out on this path
Many years ago, it all seemed so romantic
Seeing the world, traveling, getting out, and living in the world
I now am in the vanishing sun of my life in this tough time of strife
As the sun sets on what before was my life
She now hides her last warmth that there is to give
And the last of the day begins to fade to night
And in this hour when darkness is closing in
A covering cloud to pass by her goes
And I am, cold, weak and spent but have not giving up
Even though mine own sky is overcast now and clouded with doubt
In the sky, then, in this moment of contemplation
When I look up at it, to try to see beyond it all
I am left only with what is around me
What I still carry and what little belongings
I still have and what little still belongs to me
What I have left pales in comparison to what I had before
During the good times it all was clear before I started using substances to heavily
Even while out of my element and in situations and places I have never been to before
There were times when all was bright and clear and all that I need
Was at hand and near, and I never went without
That was how I was raised, and just look how I turned out
First leaving home, well, I wanted to live like a nomad
Out on a flat leveled desert easily moving to my own delight
I thought about my surroundings
And came to the conclusion that at least the desert
Was without a weary mule to toil with plow
And, that one did not settle on her brow
And, me, out there, all by myself
Or, often others needed not to worry about the harm being done to me
Because I stayed in nice safe places and had the means to live well
But, primaveras always se deshacen for winters
And seasons, like all of life’s changes
Can bring disaster and calamity with just a wrong turn
But they also brings undiscovered mysteries, and new hope
And, I know that there is more to come for me
I am not that old, but I am worn-out
Through both rough times and high times
Well, I have made it through them before
My own fields, these being my present situation in life
These fields of mine are now barren with dejection, and that it is hard to be me
And, for others, at times, I know it is tough to be around me
But mine own brook still runs with hope
And the sound she whispers and she makes
She murmurs to me saying that it will all be all right
Howbeit, this lady, she, my brook
Is although still running, notwithstanding, she is naked and with a chill
But, she is running at least, and that is something
She did not dry up from summers excess
Or, from the heat of those hot summer days
She gives me what I need when I needed it, quenching my thirst
She is not yet frozen over from the winter’s cold
Nor is she an empty riverbed, naked and bare to the elements
And suddenly a light breaks through the clouds
And the sun’s last light and warmth cheer me up a bit and I feel better
Winter has come, but how long will it last? I don’t know
But at least last recollections of those moments of my pleasing past
However be it, they are now faint, and their splendor is shriveled and withered
From how long ago that it was for me that I lived this way
Before the winter, I outright neglected preparation for the coming winter
I have neglecting what once grew in my fields, and it often grew freely and of plenty
I either took it for myself, or thought it all should be for myself, and was all there for me
It was, also, by others, trampled down, and done on to, at times
And some I often shared with those in need
Until what is left is almost vanished from both
Or has been pillaged and what is left is nothing except for lifeless stalks
What was before is now like a distant memory of greener times from the past
Pleasures linger from these things antes
And soon the winter sun will set, and night will set in
Winter has combated her hurlyburly, full of strife
She has won the day, and the battle, but has not won the war
There will be warmer and better days ahead and better seasons to come
I stay, I have also roamed, but never has left, I always come back
And I hope to wake-up tomorrow at least somewhat refreshed
And ready to take on the new day ahead
And, the fond memories of the lovely people that I have met at home and away
And that I have had the pleasure to come to know and hold dear
And of the wonderful places that I have been
And the beautiful things that I have seen
They have left fond and treasured memories
Of places close to my heart and in my mind forever
For the moment, here I am now, still striving to make it
And get-by and maybe even get ahead
And to make something of myself and out of myself
And just in time, I was able to right my ways, but for how long?
And I have taken a break from my aimless roaming and wandering days
I might not be in the most pleasant or desirable places
But, I know that for the moment
I am not now in danger or peril and that I am in a safe place
When my heart was in flames que ardian por dentro
For a more and more and for all that was out there
I ended up going too far and did not know how to get back
Or know what was best for me at the time
I gaze now at the night’s coming on
And at the day's end and her non-mortal wounds
To come out are nocturnal hunters and prey that sleep by day
And those of the day that poach, and stalk, and loom
They are now looking for a safe place to sleep
And are tired and need a rest after a day on the prowl
I have avoided them thanks my higher power, for now
But those of the night shall soon be out on the nightly prowl
Alack, I had come to fear that my life
Would not have things other passing friendships and hunters
I know there are so many wonders and mysteries out there
Other than to fear, such as when predators are breathing down your neck
And to the axe of the spoiler for so I have seen
Self interest has fallen prey to time
Which uncovers all, and shows what is
And reveals the truth, and the true nature of things
And this self-interest, it has been felled in a narrow lane
And has been leveled, every bush, every tree
And leveled every obstacle to truth that in mine own memories remain
Time shows no partiality to what it deteriorates or erodes or takes down
O, had I known back then when I was younger what I know now
And thank goodness I did not I leave the path of men then
Another life would have been too soon ended and snuffed out
And, never in such a case was there glory in that
And never would I have caught a winke again, definitely not one agen
Aye, that mistress has turned to go long ago
And she has now lost her rapture and appeal to me
Oh, what a mistake it would have been
If I would have caught her mantle then
And what a loss it would have been
For me and for what I would have missed out on
And for others too who held me dear
And what of the heartache that this would have brought on them
I did woo her by my lonely side for her stay with me, to seek out eternity
As I thought it would be good for life’s end to come soon
But, hope springs eternal and it grasps you when you let it in
As does beauty to the view from a bower
Had I clung to her allure, which is an easy escape
Such as does as a bee to a flower
And, had I given it my all, to end it all, in that hour
When I was dejected and in a shadowy very dark hour
Enclosure, what of you when you engulf and do not allow a single thing to remain
But, there is always space in the world to make a go of it for yourself
And to start over, and anew again
However, keepsakes and pledges eventually
Sadly, oh, so often, sometimes despite best intentions to nothingness fade
Hence, I go forth down the ingraft way living, but certainly, like us all, with decay
And, as I go aging, while learning that there is no delay to the future nor the furthering of aging
And that so quickly time passes and that we should not let it pass us by
And that the glory of youth, and the lustre of health, never stays
And, as a witness to it, and having lived some of it
I can tell you what I think of it and what I think it is
And what I think even life is all about
And how I think I should live it, and it should be lived
If you care to know or to ask me my views on such things
But, allow me while I live to have vim
And, allow me to have these experiences and to experience life
While I am alive, and feel alive, and to live life to the fullest
And, what is it that really makes you feel alive?
And what makes feel that you really have lived?
To me it is to be out there in the world
Traveling, seeing new places
And meeting new people and experiencing things, and learning
I was never one to want to stay long in one place
And I always wanted to be seeing what it is that is out there
To see and know how it is and to see these things and to live in the world
And to understand my surroundings which are my home
Because here on this earth, I, me and you, us, we all live here
And before it is over and done with and I am no more
And it is no more, and there is no more life to live
My experiences and that which I have lived
And am living, and my living will stay with me until the very end
And living to extract as treasure would be found would be fond
From my tenure here on this earth, is my purpose and calling?
And until I am put in a coffin, under the ground
And there is nothing more to draw from to stay alive
Or, to take from this life that I have lived
I imagine that it will be as if my remains
Were all that is left of this striving I have to feel alive and to live
And that what is left of me will be in a place to rest
And them for me perhaps an eternal rest
After I have extracted all the knowledge and experiences I could from around me
From what the world around me has to give
And the people I knew that had things to share with me
And their time to me to give

The Rising Thread of the High (Speedball)
By Dan Bickert

Radiant spinning twisting bodily bliss
While being with it, and in it
In which it moves to the way of the changed day
And without being within my head
And not lost in it, and not having lost it
Within it, and from it too
Fueling lightness is embraced from within my body
The boundless internal descent of the rising high radiates, that’s right
As my bodily sensations sing out throughout
And from and under its influence
I now know what it’s all about, this
That which has been brought on artificially
And has been chemically induced
This high rises above all things
I have ever felt or known before
While it seems that there is nothing above me in this instant
And nothing below and only pleasure within
While I guard my breathing and sink into this feeling
Feeling and living and being completely in the moment
My nerves sooth in flaming rapture at its height
Feeling so good should give fright
As my center sucks in and holds this powerful force
Vague swirling thoughts assess the essence
Of this close to perfect sensation
Living the ecstasy, as its force greatens through
From that which it is taken, and has been taken in
While knowing that this feeling will not last forever
And that it is not of myself
However, what greater than this
When it comes to things such as this
With this I have reached almost complete bliss, I can’t believe this
Vastly this feeling saunters through the just expression of the moment
While I am in each and every moment of this first time experience
My mind, and my thoughts and my will are willed by it. What is this?
And the moments sing out while it reverberates within
And this has brought from my life’s experiences
To a new world of experience within
Of the underlined and outlined
And the explosive potential of this
And the nature of mixed and combined substances
And of their joint effects
l be there, which is here, within this
And all at once, this is
While it is materialized through sensation
In my mind and body
Here and there, and, above it all
As well as below it all, and it is all felt in me all at once
All within, but coming from without
And for me, in this moment, it is what I am all about
My nerve energy flows in a momentous
And invisible tangible pleasure cave
Of sense expressed in feeling of where I am
And at, in and at each and every moment
It being the induced breath of a smooth soothing calm
An even tide within a high tide
And being within it and feeling it
And knowing the throb of this artificially brought on calm fervour
It goes beyond the expected, and I fear, that again
I shall take the risk, to feel this once more
And it is in the string of these moments
In which it is forgotten all strife in my life
And tomorrow, or the day after, or both
When my body is drained and I feel sapped of strength
And exhausted from what it takes out of the body and mind to feel like this
I will remember that there is a price indeed
To pay to feel this good and to feel other highs
And that there is also a price to pay for everything, and every experience
Even and especially for things that come so easily as this

A lot of work to be done on this one
By Dan Bickert

We often slip-up or make mistakes
Or behave without prudence
Perhaps at times when we are careless
And it can be scary even to the most hearty
And to even the most brave
And even the most fearless to be lost
Especially at times and in certain situations
Where there are threats lurking about
Danger at times stalks quietly
For and by those who wish to hide their deeds
We need help to be aware at times like this
In this confusing and often wishy-washy life
And we must have faith in the future to come, and what it will bring
And our capacity to make a better future
And for those to come and this sometimes depends on: optimism
About what is around the corner
For us and what can be done
For ourselves, and each other

Me Acabo conmigo? (So meth ing) (written in Spainglish) (still working on the parts in Spanish(
by Dan Bickert

This very night he came close to death
By completely neglecting himself
He had decided that he should end his life
That he should top (off) himself
That, and just before what he thought
What would be his last breath
He struggled with solemn thoughts
He saw himself as a complete failure and worthless
But, just before he thought he would go off to death
And leave this world and was to be put 6 feet under
He turned and called out to anyone that could hear
Suddenly not wanting to end it at all
All of a sudden, perhaps a miracle
He now no longer wanted to end his life
While he was alone in this cheap dingy hotel room
He did almost die neglected that night
He was fed up with so many doubts about and in his life
Of the future and of so much insecurity in his life
He had come to the point where he believed in nothing
And much less in destiny
He was wanting to be in front of hell
And after being judged
But being judged only by himself and for himself
He was fed up and was tired of being himself
Todo le pareció tan enredado y jodido
And el infierno estaba ya a un paso, acaso
Y a él le faltaba cordura y por mucho tiempo
Como si él fue ni su propio amigo
Y sin consuelo por sí-mismo
He had slit his cuello
Y muñecas y ha casi logrado su fin
Fulmor eran todas sus heridas sangrando
En su cuarto él estaba separado
Y escondido del mundo afuera
Y solito estaba
Sus compadres y conocidos
A él en este momento
Les sentía tan tan lejos
A ellos les ha abandonado
Porque en este momento
Cuando perdí las ganas de vivir
Y con su intento de suicidio
Todo era agravio
Y no pensaba en el daño que les haría
Ya ha perdido la riqueza de lo que es vivir
Su cabeza ya fue en ruina
Lo que fue un refugio para el el algun entonces
His own nature and his thoughts
Had challenged his will to live
And in this domain he found himself
Against the ropes and without hope
His own desire to live
Was a fleeting thought at one point
He wanted to let pass the accursed
Of self destruction upon himself
While still deep down struggling to hold onto thoughts
Of what love he might still have for himself
Sus lagrimas ardian as they ran down his cheeks
Tanto sexo comprado en las calles
Y sin ningún sentimiento
Since he had gotten there
Eso se le había dejado vacío
And for other reasons he was left feeling completely empty
Lesquelles toujours su mente could not get over
Los momentos dolorosos de su vida
El camino del futuro le imaginaba
Que ello sería menos duro que el pasado
Now sus munecas escupían sangre much less than before

Ya seguía acercando a la esperanza
De un futuro mejor, he felt hope once again
Los riesgos que él había tomado
En su vida no han paid off
Nor cualquier of his decisiones
His vida seemed to him una condena
He had already begun to turn
From his self destructive and life ending thoughts
While being below the moon's eye
Which glared at all that was below
Downward were his eyes
As he saw in him nothing but disgust
But, he had a will to live, just a bit of it left
Which was now growing in strength
The haggard vulture of suicide
Was no longer in act to swoop down upon him
And the tears that showed the grief in him
Had stopped running down his face
And the effects that the drugs had had on him
They had darted down on him like daggers
The drugs had hit him hard
The flaming knife in his hand still quivered
In front of him keen, he then put it down
And many thunders lifted up their voice in his mind
This helped him manage to hang on to life
Depression, vicio, and drug abuse’s abused curse
Had just about finished him off
The residue of the suicide attempt
Lingered and mingled with bitter thoughts
Of self that he was not yet over
This he thought of ere he went down to bed
He was not sure if this would be his end
But, instead, he suddenly thought of it
To be a new beginning of some kind
In this place where he thought he would spend his last night
This he had actually survived
And he was going to make it out of this place
That he was now sure of it
His veins and neck were indeed cut
Deeply in this lowly hotel room
And having spent what he thought were to be his last days
Surrounded by strangers, hangers-on, scammers and putas
El encontró in himself the ability
To overcome la desolación de la gran dolor in him
El estaba cansado de pasar tantas noches
En distraerse de su honda vida perdida
Estaba ya esperando que eso cambie
Y esa habitud acabara algún día lo mas pronto possible
Se le había ido el chispe de vivir casi de todo
But it was coming back to him now
Y el negro charco de la muerte
Ya no le llamaba desde abajo
Upon arriving to this place
Many things were troubling him
He had notado here what seemed to be
Available all the crystal and heroin that he could consume
And more than he thought could ever be so readily available
Él nunca había conformaba para nada a este mundo
He, having had tried to acabar con su vida in this way
And at this time and in this place
He was pensando que eso sería la última actuación de su vida
Y ya con una pipa a su lado todavía y restos de kriko y chiva
Feeling to be a failure at everything
And useless to this world and a burden on others
And still feeling he had ruined it all
Se le aduenaba these thoughts
And others like it
Throughout and form the depths of his mind
Él había intentado el suicidio ya
Pero no le haya muerto todavía
He had been given a second chance
He thought of Hell, down bellow seas y tierra
And the horror of the idea of perhaps going there
Quiso ser libre de lo físico which seemed to capture him
Within its vices of substance abuse
Then there came a voice in his head, it cried:
“The storms ere passed and that you have lived through
Are not necessarily to come in the future.”
There will be better days to come
No te duermes ya, or it might be your end”
Se levantó de su cama y se puso de pie en el portal
Y pidió ayuda but no one came or responded
Y de repente él dijo a sí-mismo:
“Yo ya me siento en el suelo y tirado abajo”
El ha tocado más bajo que el pudiese haber imaginado, hasta el fondo
“Pero todavía tengo razones para vivir,” pensó
Eso fue la respuesta de la situación en que se encontró
And this echoed through his cabeza
“La vida te busca sin descansar vive la!", se penso’
Aun despacio se sentó en la orilla de su cama
Cuando regresó a ella
Knowing that he would now survive the night
And that there was hope
Seguro de que su camino de regreso no va ser más duro de lo que había vivido
Es cierto que había llegado hasta aquí
But, he was sure he would do better and live better than before
Something had changed
Aunque había intentado su mejor, he was left scared by life
Memorias le quemaba como restos de su vida still
Lo que le quedó para renacer le permanecia
Buscara otra cosa que la herida eterna
Y he would rise again like the Phoenix
Sentía que la vida ya valía la pena
Dolor fue lo que le ha dado
So many experiences in his life
And certainly not all good
Vivir, vivir, and with this new outlook
He no longer wanted to go out
He no longer wanted to end himself
And forth did not go into midair his soul
To leave his body behind
He now no longer hating himself
Although he was still disappointed
And and felt he had let himself down
A potentate of wrath directed at himself
That this is what he felt had led him to do this to himself
Which he now wanted to leave behind him
And to avoid feeling a void inside him
And to not fall again so low
And now he felt ready somewhat
To take on tomorrow
And to set off to find better things
When he was ready
This helped him stop llorando
Y hurting hasta no poder gritar
His storm had calmed
And yet sleep was yet to come
It came to pass through his mind certain thoughts
As he pointed to his past:
There, all at once
He saw what was of his life lived up to this point
No woman was with him now
He felt so alone and lost
But he knew he could make it out of this
He found himself sitting and bloody
In this run down dingy room
This is not what he wanted
But, at least he was still alive
With blood all around him
And the signs of drug use in his room
He had gotten there in what seemed an abrupt and a strange way
On a day in which the sky, under which he arrived
Had darkened beyond a twilight
A huddled world of crushed dreams and aspiraciones
Was what he saw all around him in this neighborhood
Eso le ha dejado aplastado y algo desesperado
Aquellas cosas had tumbled before him
When he had seen them before
Or, some such things in other places
And it left his heart weathered to nothing but dust
After arriving he was worse off than before
Earth-shattering thoughts of self
Of si-mismo had seemed to have passed
Although he felt torn and invaded by his conscious still
From the difficult throes of his life
But, now, raised once more in him was ganas de vivir
He tried to forget the days spent wasted
Living by the wicked ways of wayward men
He had been with no mercy for himself
And far from the help of others
What a chasm between himself of old
And what he now hoped to move onto and become
Inaccessible was he still but he did have hope for the future
And far above with it’s rotation streaming
From the fan above a breeze ran down towards him
It showed that the winds of this room had smote sorely
Gaunt internal monsters in his mind
Had subsided at a great degree now
As he drew the curtains slowly
Even though he thought he heard demons in the hall
And thought saw one stalking him outside the window
And he thought he heard one whispering out in the hallway
That he believed he had heard outside his room before
These perhaps were metaphors for other things ominous around him
Or, perhaps the effects of the drugs on his mind
Causing him to see things and hear voices
While this was going on outside his room
El bullo del barrio roared
All his own nature had so much been against him
He had been against himself
Yet he had made it back
And out leapt a thunderous bolt of hope
Despite the situation his spirit was returning
And it cut the pain he felt as he pushed what was left of it down inside him
Down beneath his sinking feet so to speak
Over him a form burnt fiercely yellow, a single light bulb to light his room
Nearer and nearer he was getting
To better days that he knew would come
There was no way to disimular the fused blood
That cover the room and drenched his sheets
That was were his blood mostly blazed
And from out of his veins he fell a last bloody drizzle
A final shower from his open cuts
It ceased to be coming out
He look around his room and then downward in shame
And the wayward son's head which he had held low
No longer hung down and fast was it coming up
A soon would come the day
When again he could hold his head high
Desperation thereon gone, he was aghast at it all
He was now down in his bed! Time to rest and let it pass
Get a nights sleep so that tomorrow he could face the day
And explain to the hotel staff would had gone on
He was just gearing up to face what was ahead
He needed shut-eye, he had not slept in two and a half days
Darkness had indeed swallowed him up
Almost whole in a scene of convulsive self harm
Él permanecerá con las cicatrices
But, he knew it could have been worse, much worse
And the next morning he did awake
And was ready to face the new day and those to come
And to put behind him the horrors of the night before
With a new outlook on life
And optimism in his heart for things to come

Back in the Day
by Dan Bickert

In Roman times
From every back forty and fished shoal
In Britannia
Romans ponied up from Londinium
'Long the Calleva to Aquae Sulis
To expunge themselves
In the rejuvenating and healing
Febrile aqua pura
Of the baths of that fine provincial town
Called Aquae Sulis (1) to some
And just plain Sulis to others
'Long the way they sought not
These Romans
The favored martyr
Who is quick to give one service
When one is in need of shelter
With pangs of hunger
Or has strayed 'long their journey
For these Romans had bankroll
Not caring in the least
Were these martyrs
For these Romans either
Nor for not even an Unica of an Unica
For at the time which this poem mentions
It had not yet been minted
But was later worth a mint
And an Aurius would have been far too little
To try to get out of them
For even a single service
And too little to possibly accept
From compatriots and fellow country men
Which they were considered not
At least so I figure it was back in the day
And it still seems true
In occupied territories today
For the occupiers
And for locals and countrymen alike
Willing to give a traveler a helping hand
And to the occupier the cold shoulder

(1) The city of Bath

Blue Swells
By Dan Bickert

Bluejackets rise before dawn
Readying for their turn
Standing by for orders of endeavors for a new day
Before long the sun shall shine brightly
Through the casements of the skipper's cabin
While those at their turn
Top side are at their office
Laboring while being satisfied
With one's commission, essence, and vigor
These gents are sufficiently contented with this
The lady goes forth with unfurled sail
And imposing masts atop deep water
Through a wide expanse
The coming nautical day
Bids elation to the shipmates' hearts
With the desires of a glorious new day at sea
While the seamen are vigilant
Scuttlebutt murmurs
It is a reticent elocution
Wise with know-how
Put behind those that one misses
Make way for future ports of call
These gents being filled with dreams
Spurred on by the rolling waves
While their souls are imbued
With the quiet peacefulness
Of the love of the sea

Bleues Swells
By Dan Bickert

Put behind you those one misses
Make way for future ports of call
Laboring while being satisfied
With one’s commission, essence and brio
Some are sufficiently contented with this
The lady goes forth
With unfurled sails and imposing masts
Atop deep water
Through a wide expanse
Far from peaceful nights
When the owls had grown still
Blue jackets rise before dawn
Reading for their turn
Standing by for orders
For endeavors of the new day
Before long
The sun shall show bright
Through the casements
Of the skipper’s cabin
While those at their turn
Top side, are at their office
The coming nautical day
Bids elation to the shipmates hearts
With the desires
Of a glorious new day at sea
While the seamen are vigilant
They are filled with dreams
Spurned on by the rolling waves
Skuddlebutt now begins to murmur
It is a reticent elocution
Wise with know-how
Their souls are imbued
WIth the quiet peacefulness
Of the love of the sea

An Aoen Begins
By Dan Bickert

The lingering fiscal year has flown by
Its pleasures and pains are now elapsed
And its delight and fanfare
And its plethora are all remembrancers
It has been liberated from its tether, pledge, and market
For me, longish expectation was the wait for its end
It was fleeting, illusory
Like being in a prickly feral wind for me
Which brandished a parsimonious farewell
At the start of the year
And for the next three wealth wandered free
Let it wander, as it will, to find profit
Let cheer be seen when the ravin multiply
The impresario's light and joy
And the lender grave and sly
Shun jockey
Cajole the usurer
Wassail wealth
Bid all come and take their fill of the plenty
Attachés full and dispositions high
En passant, conjointly there are the proper woes
Of the wistful waste of backing and bankroll
Bespeak every person that snickers at care
Those ones, nonchalant with their investments
Or, taking poor counsel
Or even scorning good counsel
The only way out for them
Their end move
Is to be an albatross or a suppliant
And what of the selfish and self-centered heirs
That lavishes in the inheritance
Of, perhaps, a father or a grandsire without care
Those that ride on coattails lavishly
Not on aptness or judgment like some others
And, then there are those that are earnest
In the former enterprise of an heir
And the old guard customarily
Are, as always
Secure in their footing and station

Spirit
By Dan Bickert

Pen grasped in hand
Gleaming from the teeming mind of a word-smith
From nights aside a candle do much notions sire
Full of thoughts apprended from rich garners of high piled books beheld
Now scrawling his own book authored by the fateful hand of providence
At which hour he feels to be the creature of the hour
Meanwhile, continuing to write
Lamenting that in some day to come
Never shall his eyes behold upon his creation more
And relish in her faerie powers of incantation
It is over, times at which hour he was chuffed
With what he wrote
When he was not so big as he is now
When he held his pen
Grasped in hand
Even though, at that time
It was nothing but a twig
And with it spreading before
What would be forgotten
What had penned his own desire
At which hour his name was known
Only to his comrades
And acquaintances and a few others
Outside the evening’s mooned face
Enamourous sheens
Time spent in his study, sheltered
Enraptured by an illumined milieu
Full of the night's returned incantations
How many evenings shall he live below its recapitulations?
The evolution of ceasing to be
Lingering, fading vapors
Of a cebub cerecloth the vista of sand
Gradually passing through the hourglass of time
In this tenatent world some stand alone
While others tower above
How biting it is to envisage evanescent eminence
And to confront how ultimately
To nothingness we do dwindle
Save what one has left behind
Of one's own self in this temporal domain

The Morning
by Dan Bickert

The vigil of the dimly lit orb of the night
Is promptly to be a kind of
Daily Circadian swan song, once again
As freshly gathered dew drops
Forenoon's ornaments
Frou the flowers, leaves, and grass
As the morning begins and before the sun’s full return
From its time illuminating the other side of the world
Mid-day will eventually approach
While for the moment pale moonbeams linger
From the beautiful eye of the night
They dance faintly below compassionate stars
Which lavish as fair jewels upon the nighttide
Unconscious with their beautiful sparkle
To the happenings and goings on below
Refulgently, daybreak is over-early to open anew
And to bid forth bounteous light
Brilliantly, the night’s shrouding darkness
Is being unconcluded
As the sun begins to come out
To behold upon these environs beneath
And thereupon slowly the morn faintly wanes
And its fluorescence is slowly quitted
Thusly, burnishing the day's full luminosity
Moreover, burgeoning buds are to burst open
And pedals are to unfurl
As birds begin to croon to their heart's content
And to make melody from a joie de vivre
And from the gaiety of the new day at hand
Whilst in trees, and hedges, these plumage perdure
Them, cock-full with reckless mirth
Them, wide-eyed and chirpy after their night's repose
With their awakening one knows that the eve has ended
And that the dance of a day has commenced again

The Drifter
by Dan Bickert

As lonesome and solitary as a companionless cloud
Alone and shrouded on a dark and chilly night
A foreigner in a strange land lost since twilight
Still roaming at an hour at which most slept
Headlong he goes forth
Through the boulevards
The streets and alleyways of Marseille
Guided by its lights posts
And those few still lit windows
While lost in the moon’s silhouetted portrait
Of its resplendent buildings on either side of him
Advancing, drifting through the dimly lit streets
With his life possessions on his back in his rucksack
Wandering the lanes and avenues haphazardly
But content to be out on such a beautiful night
Being lost and not bothered
In the least bit by his situation
As he ambules along the sidewalks
Enjoying the monuments and sights
Which he has now all to himself
While heading forward without firm direction
Compelled toward what could be his destiny
As he goes forth without any regrets in life
Caring not for even a roof under which to sleep
Temperately and composed he is and calm
In the almost vacant city he feels
He has all to himself
And being outside under the stars makes him feel
Free and and content on the inside
From the peacefulness of this night

So what's it all about?
By Dan Bickert

In mortal pursuit of our destiny
We all go forth
In this life we all take a course
Some, their own, others do as they’re told
And some take those that have been taken before
Or have been told to take
Or those they have been told should be taken
Some of us follow
And some of us were born to lead
We are all different
Individuality, independent thought, and diversity
These are all part of what gives us uniqueness
And make us different
Even though we may all be individuals
With different traits, different makeup, and different takes
What we share are our commonalities and our humanity
At all hours the things of this world are so much with us
Like human nature and nature’s dominion
Largesses it is, I say, for all of us
And covetous many of us are of worldly things
Spirituality some look for in their lives to feel something deeper
And what it’s all about is what fills our wants, needs, and desires

Thoughts
By Dan Bickert

From time to time gentile thoughts droop
And they often pine
Time forms a man’s decline
Sooner or later all of us may be kindred spirits
In what may come after this life
And we just might find out what that is
And what and how things really are
And what it is really all about
One day when the time comes
While some just take on what comes
As it may be
Content with themselves
And their lot in life
And believing what they believe
Whatever that may be
Not worrying too much about certain things
Or to even find out what the truth may be
Or what’s really going on
When the time comes
And it just may happen
Some day, when it is all said and done
And all over with
And, this day may come
Whatever the truth may be
Maybe we’ll all someday find it out
In our own time
And knowing what it is
I think that that would put us all
A little more at ease

Life Lived with and Without Love
by Dan Bickert

Then, one day, I went forth, carrying on, as it were
Further, yonder still, beyond my limits
Until, one day, having had too many troubles in life
I chose to withhold my love from both myself and others
Until, as a cause of this
Even optimism seemed to be too much for me to hope for
It was as if all was lost
And so much was lost even on myself
Until it was that even a pothole in the road or a stumble I took
Would trip me up and I would fall
It came to be that I dared not gaze upon love’s gentile face any longer
For I was without that lady in my life
I had bid love adieu
My own love was now nothing but a treasure lost
Something of a bit of a love cachéd it was, now hidden from me
That was all that was left
And it was beyond my reach
It had come to pass that I had refused to give to others love anymore
I had ensconced my love to my own despite
Due in part to the pain I had endured and suffered in this life
And from having loved the wrong things
Those which had lead to love being destroy in me
And which fed my ego and which were simple pleasures and selfish desires
Although, often, when there was no love present, I had tried to give it
To give to those who had incapacity to give love or lacked it
And, this, at times, has cost me
When I was taken advantage of and burned
Such, as before, being that I had been giving love in the wrong ways
I had chosen to give love even to those who thought
Love's companionship to be but a portion in life
And it had cost me to have had loved that which holds my own alterity
And, at times, by having had neglected both love and myself
I had lost, at times, them both
However, I had felt a residuum of her, I mean love
In each and every place that I did pass by, though
Even while I was without that lady in my life
Mostly, wherever I saw a smile or heard a hearty laugh
Or heard a heartfelt remark, or good joke
And, then, in my emptiness within
It became that my hollow heart had found a tongue to hollo
Which seemed to be chanting refrains over and over
Throughout the dark nights and the lonely days
Until it had turned to something that I could not ignore
This, the chanting of a riddle of nature’s indomitable love
This seemed to remedy my situation
And I was able to revive her in me
Then, one day, in a place that I’ll never forget
I had chanced upon that lady's rebirth in me
And rediscovered her in a reverberant turn of circumstances
In a place that I had always dreamed of going
I found myself and that lady in me once more there
There love did inspire in me
Through herself, once again
By examples of her beauty which I saw shown round me in this splendid place
There, in this place, that lady was again raised within me
And again, once more, in me, she dwelt and was stronger than ever
Hence, thank goodness that rekindled was that lady and her force to conquer all
And, upon finding her again my lacking and adrift life had found colour
And, my heart began to beat again with hope, again, once more
And, having had rediscovered her
I once again felt love blossom in my heart
As blooms a nectarous flower
And, then, I came to realize that
Love, what you have taught me
Hiretofore, by having been given so much of you by others
That I should not give none of you to no one evermore
Therefore, I shall give none of you to no one no more
And now with my own adherence to nature
I choose to give you, to give love, once again
And, by electing to love, both myself, and others
I do, thus, acknowledge how I adore thee, and the gift that you are
Love, I thus give of you, back from my heart, to others again
For having had made me to have loved and to have been loved
Moreover, you, Nature, you have taught me, by making me
You have taught me how to live with love, and thus to give love
Nature, you, and those who have loved me
By teaching me this, what love is
And how it feels to be loved
And that our nature is to love
Both ourselves and others
And from those who have begotten so much love in me
Those who have given so much love to me
Because of them and you, Nature, and your ways
I give back now, through love, and this is my true nature
I will live with love now, and love myself
And what will become of me, and of my soma
Love and Nature, you both have taught me, so clearly
And to such a degree, by helping to make me who I am
To live by my own nature which is to love, and to love life
And, thus I go forth with love in my life once again

Tough it Out
by Dan Bickert

In these onerous times
One can easily be rot with grievances
But, take heart in imminent manifestations of divine intentions
Do not allow yourself to be consumed by bereavements
Faint feelings of disheartenment
In these exacting days can come to engross
Throughout this world
Surrounded by haunted souls we traipse
Only heaven is free of them
One must endure and struggle
To harness one's sanguineness
While overcome and docile men grieve
What has become of us my friends and of our reverie?
What is left behind of the fruits of the pursuit of our aspirations?
What is to come?
And, what shall become of us all?

Chez Cherif
by Dan Bickert

While taking in the surrounding view
From my vantage point
And looking out
From my perch on the back porch
Of Cherif’s home
At the top of a hillside
And me being a guest there
For a few weeks
And so much enjoying my stay there
And being around such good company
And interesting characters that were there
At that time, that I was there
And as it was
I had gone there
In order to buy hashish in relative quantity
And it was that I was
In a transitional period in my life
And in this certain moment defined
Being so far far from home
But, not out all alone, however
But traveling with a good mate
And full of the excitement
Of being out in the big, wide, world
And due to the adventure of it all
It happened to be that suddenly that day
In me, and in this very place
It being so different to me
And being such a far off place
And it being, as well
So exotic and distant a location
From where I was from
And so apart from what I had known
And with such a contrast from my home
That my own internal mental flurries began
To mount my own imagined hills
From the deep depths of my mind
And from the thrill of being out there
And being so excited to be there
That rose from my 'savoir-être'
That very day same day
As it was that I was now completely stoned
That lost druthers
And former penchants
Had begun to return to my mind
While concurrently my own anima was toujour still
Surrounding fields were so greeny
They moved sweetly indeed
As the wind swayed the ganja plants
The green bhang stood high
So greenward it was
And the surrounding distant hills
Were topped like with copper
And the pollen that we contrebandiers smoked
Up it went, up in smoke
And the water that we drank
So fresh and sweet it was
Which came from the nearby
Fresh water spring
And hinted turquoise as it flowed
And below us
At the bottom of the valley
Ran a small stream
Softly passing by its rocks and stones
And, one day, in the afternoon
I had tried counting them
Each and every one
To count them, one by one
Just for the heck of it, I guess
I don’t really know
As I hot-footed along one side of the stream
From boulder to boulder
Jumping agil-like and keen
And above me liquid sapphire was the sky
And whoever looked round these environs
On this very pleasant summer day
For sure must have felt at ease
In these peaceful surroundings
Up here, and high as we all were
In a kind of getaway
In a town called Katama
In these, the magnificent
And magical
Rif mountains

You and Me are Unalike, but still friends
by Dan Bickert

Wherefore do you call on me thusly, yet again!
Haughty, puerile, and naive you are!
With this lyric I chide you going forward through the annals of time!
Others do but play compared to this reproach
Reverent and stout might I have been at times
I could still eclipse you in a wink
But for to lose sight of you so long
And you know why that would be
Blinded eyes yours but not mine
More studied you are than I
But more capacities to excel in life have I than you
Although I have chosen not to take many of them
And I could exceed you at anything we both tried
But for lacking experience in that something
For I would surely outdo you at it
Many donnes have I compared to you
Though you see it not
And, for me
So many more things than for you
For me, less savoir-faire
Next to nothing else is
You act superior to me
In how you behave towards me
You regularly tell me that I am not deep, as if I care!
While you are one of the most shall fellows
I have come to know
Despite your pleasure seeking
You are half as joyous as I
You ask for ease
And behold not upon your duties
For me, as opposed to you
My own center is my sphere

Le Chasseurador
by Dan Bickert

Below a thicket
In enveloping surroundings
It was overtaken
A consuming animal of prey
Clenched its victim
A savage rough quadruped
Had taken its prey
During the pursuit
The pursuer's eyes were glazed masses
The predator had spurted from a thicket
Whisking, gliding over the decaying detritus
Which passed under foot
Its spoils were now clasped in its vice
A fist full of takings as aliment
The end of its kill's diastole and systole
A soul once spirited
Now interrupted by death
Now without movement
Not a quiver, limp now
And a savourful morsel
Lifeless for the feeding

On Into the Night
by Dan Bickert

Drunk, and high from
Being invited to indulgences by backpackers
I, Returning from a beachfront bar
As I went on into the merciless night
While pondering my situation
Without a hint or thought of delight
Through a dark alley and then out of sight
Disappearing into the darkness
And then on to the end of a narrow side street
Through a gate
Up some stairs
And into my apartment
And back home safe again
Go not into the darkness
Of such alleyways and side-streets
Without caution and prudence
At this hour tourist or stranger
These alleyways bring bodeful danger and dread
And often what happens in the dark
Is hidden by the night
And is not right
Criminal things go on
All too often beyond the light
Often because of the need that exists
In such parts of many of the world’s cities
It could be said it is because
Of the lack of resources, corruption and poverty
That are so prevalent there
Not to mention the need that exists in these kinds of places
Which make up the majority
Of the regions and countries in the world
Were parts of town like this exist
And, that night, as I was heading home
Heading back to where I was living at the time
I said to myself in the dark of the night:
“Is it there on the right? There it is. Yeah, that’s right”
And then soon I was back home
Gladly sooner rather than later
And then, not long after my arriving
There was a tapping on my one room
Slum studio door
While shadows from the single light bulb
From the ceiling danced on the floor
A call from outside for the monthly rent
I had been doing with poca plata
For some time now
Me, well, I had been out traveling
And on the road for a good long time
And, with little work to be found
I was with little to no money in my pocket
And could not pay rent
And feeling worse now than ever before
Having, what I imagined, was the down and out blues
From this situation I found myself in
And about with the prospects at that moment
I felt like, in a sense, I was paying my dues
For coming from a relatively well off family
And now seeing how roughly the other ninety-six
Percent of the world lives
I could always call home
To see if I could get a little money sent
Sent to me to get by until I got back home
That would solve the financial pinch I was in
I thought to myself
It would be easy enough
Just a call to the family
That would do it, and be enough
Then, I thought to myself, “It's about time
I be heading back home”
My time here seemed all played-out
I wanted to live like a local
And see for myself
What it was like for so many
To live in such a place
And what it was all about
I had now seen enough
And been there long enough
I had been there
For a good long while now
And now I know a little bit more
More about life
This was not for me
I do not belong there
I stick out like sore thumb
That is plain to see
I’ll get on a big jet airliner soon
Easy as can be
But, for now
From my depths of my soul
From deep down
And from my heart of hearts
I implored for better days
I know that they are not far off
In which I might have more comfort
And more resources at hand
Which I was used to having
As I did before
Tomorrow I will make it by, I thought
Either with a phone call
Or if I can borrow some barro
From a friend of mine
Who had a bit of money
And who knows that I will pay him back
Everyone around here knows I am good for it
It would not be the first time here
That I was lent money
When I had to borrow a little lana
And I tell the landlord that I will have his rent
One hundred-percent
Just as soon as possible
While dreaming of an end
To the demon of debt
And to which depth in it
So many have fallen in
In which so many find themselves
Something unknown to some
Who are well to do in life
But, all too familiar to those slighted
By the dreary blight of poverty
Who often doubt even the lingering light of hope
And turning away from the prospect of hope hinders sight
Although there is no way out of it for most
It being challenging, hard, and, sadly rare
For one to be able to get out of an impoverished
Birthplace or background in this life
In most of the world
To get out of this kind of marginalized existence
It is just a pipe dream for most
I am one of the lucky ones
And I now know it now
I can just go home
But those who are stuck here
For those that this is their home
And are born into poverty
They will most likely, also die in poverty, tragically
Dejection, seeing people go without
Without not just creature comforts
But sometimes without even the basics
And necessities in life
Is has not been easy for me to witness
Suffering and a tough existence
That being lived around me daily
It had begun to wear on me
More than a little
It was not something
That I was brought up around
I was not raised with it
I had seen it before
In other places outside of my country
Where there is poverty
In my country, yes, there is poverty
But, nowhere near the level here
And not to this degree
It’s is a blinding and uncomfortable sight
And in the face of this poverty
I asked myself:
Is the system right?
When the future for so many
Is an uncertain
And an uncomfortable mystery
Tentative to explore
And their lives
So full of struggle and strife
Some are at the heights of wealth
While so many do without
And, often deeds induced by poverty
Do breed crime
It is not so easy when
One is with little plata
And has little or nothing
With which to support himself or his family
And choose to turn to crime
But, as I have seen
In other parts of the world
There is peace, and safety
And poverty exists there still
But, these are the exceptions
While, in such places
The people there go on living
Without much material possessions to speak of
While lacking belongings
And with almost nothing to speak of
The people in these parts of the world
Go on, rising to new day
And finding hope
Day to day, as they often live
Yet, they will not rob you in a dark alley
Or, chingarte for a little ferria
In these parts of the world
Where their culture is different
Where community is highly valued
There seems to be more respect
For others and for those around you
While they go on striving
Doing their best with what they can
While living a precarious and uncertain existence
And while going without much of the time, no doubt
In this often unfair and harsh life
That so many live and have to tough it out in
The world is full of unconscionable things
Tragic occurrences, instance of unfairness
And sad events that pass
But, this is the world we live in
Not all of it is like this
Sadely, just most of it
But, not where I’m from
I now value more than ever
What I have and where come from
I have had so many opportunities
When so many have close to none
I have a future to look forward to
While most go living
Nearer and nearer
To death every day
Yes, we all go ageing
We all each hit each and every stage in life
Child, teenager, adult,middle age, then old age
As we go ageing without delight
It is so important not to lose your spark for life
Those of us in rich nations
Should feel lucky
Some never know
Of the many delights there are
And how to enjoy life

What Went so Wrong
By Dan Bickert

So, should I brood or rave?
But, please keep in mind:
Take pity on me not!
The stars are set beyond my powers
And more remote than those of these nights of wrath
And of the days of being confined to my quarters
And, moreover, Cytherea
Has been put against me
The sun is now thwarted from my sight
Albeit it I know it still blazes
And that it will rise again tomorrow
And bring hope for a better day
In moments of sorrow, at times
Tears have come to vex me
From a curse many a man has said
Has cut many a man down
And has broken even the strongest of men
Or has at least taken them to the ground
I have been bracketed to the stocks
However, I was glad in it
And over and above glad when it was over

Cieloparadis
by Dan Bickert

Distracted
Yet with the ear keen
Hearing a call that makes the heart cheer
From a glorious windfall
But not one of affluence
A solemn gift from the heavens above
Angels whispering to one another
Searing terms of endearment
For those of us below
None perchance, in his own way
So deviously devote as Apollyon
With his merciless endless pit
Mayhap, none closer than Michael
Conceivably none more beloved than Gabriel
He, unto us, carrying dispatches to humanity
To our heart of hearts
Bearing vital comuniqués
At which hour our minds are elsewhere and ungenerous
Two of these three are devout to us to the eternity of infinity
Their service to us is as a flambeau in the dark
For those who live in the quest
Of the alluring and lingering wake of heaven

Then, Now, the Future?
by Dan Bickert

Intransigent am I between the radiance of night's aurora and terra firma
I would savor to imagine a moonlight in which it is possible
To return from a hazardous struggle not all in ruins
Reminiscence lingers from black perspectives
Of past sojourns and from being far from the comforts of amenities
The moon's emanations have not yet gone to hide
As they do when they welsh abaft the sky’s tracing veils
Meandering white figueres in the night's sky have now abated
Withal, where have the untroubled stars gone?
Or, is it just the city lights brightening them out?
And because no man knows what the coming season is to bring
Nor the clime to come, not the hours
Not our days, not our months
Not our years, as none are alike
Something that we can rely on is the coming day
And the hope for a better day to come
In that the sun returns thusly
Giving us light after a dark night
And sight, in and at times when all seems to be so dark
In this sometimes heart-less and dreary world
Warm us brilliantly, as you always do
Give hope to the world for a better day ahead!
And in tough times, better things to come
Shine down on us maintainer of life!
Your warmth is there at which hour we need you most

About Time (based on the poem “On Time” by John Milton)
by Dan Bickert

Stroke onward watchful time
Until you run though what could be an endless course for you
Your speed at times seems to be a headlong plunging pace
Until last of all your greed by yourself be consumed
Glutting yourself on what you, Time, engluts
Which is no more than what is perishable
So much is our loss and so little is your gain
Both wonderful and dreadful you have entombed
What is ours in this orb is no more than merely a mortal birth
And each of us a final resting place we shall surely one day find
At which hour comes one's time of rapture
Long eternity some say shall greet that rapture
It to each of us, with an individual embrace
At that hour you will not be able to call on the chronometer’s
Passing tick-tock for consolation
Then, 'twill be as if our embodied vitality
And stamina had been expended
And our life life force had been depleted and spent
Then, some say, our heavenly guided essentia shall soar
And one shall reside in a place
Where everything is sincere and valorous
And there one shall remain for eternity
Of this, some are sure
And there they say
One shall be with the perfectly eternal
With unity, veracity, and love
And it is said the one shall be
With these shining on, on and on, forever
Ever shining about the supreme throne of
He whose glad-making sight alone gives grace
Anyhow, when we reach our end on this earth
Proprietorship and all this earthly vanity
Thereupon shall be jilted and shaken off
And, perhaps we shall know what comes
After this life, each of us, some day
When our time comes

What is Time? (Also based on the poem “On Time” by John MIlton)
by Dan Bickert

Stroke onward watchful time
As your hands keep turning
Second by second, instant by instant
Your seconds being more than the sands of time
No one knows if you cannot turn back on your course
Or turn your back on your course
Or change your current trajectory
As you go forward, racing headlong into the future
Fleeting time, you are a thief of youth, time and time again
Both wonderful and dreadful you have entombed
While you indulge yourself on what you, Time, engluts
Which is no more than what is perishable
In a vaincre sans péril et une triumph sans gloire
Time, what of those that you have put into oblivion so many times before
You have put so many to waste
Even those who did not waste you, Time, that is, in’t it
While some with their time have wasted it
During their juncture on this earth
Sin poder ellos reclamar nada
Time, what do you give us as recompense?
What a loss it is that which you take from us
And what is your gain?
Time awaits us in unknown futures, contingent on choices
But, time is not all, it could be that even an end awaits you, Time
And, it may be seen, if you start again
And repeat over, on yourself, or not
Or that you run on and on, until one day
Perhaps, you might come to an end
Maybe not forever, however
If you go backwards and then forwards repeating on yourself
Even you, maybe, may run through your supposedly endless course, who is to know?
And, as the case may be, that last of all you, by your greed
And by your own self, you will be consumed
At that hour, if it is to pass, you shall not be able to call
On the chronometer’s passing tick-tock for consolation
Whose speed is a headlong plunging pace, it seems, at times
Your origin must have been the time the universe started
But, again, who is to know?
What is OUR beginning, OUR origin, and YOURS? And to what end?
But, we know that there shall be an end to us all on this earth
And it will be in the grave, on our given day
Is yours to restart after your so-called end? Will you stop?
Or, run on, repeating upon yourself ad infinitum?
Do you even know or care?
Time, are you conscious of our binding to you
Or our attempt to understand your relatedness to things
Or life’s coupling with you and our synchronist to you?
And, that you will abandon us most likely
One day, with your absence when our death comes
Time, one knows that you can never turn your back on your true nature
You show your true face, as forward you race
And with the chain of seconds that ties us to our watching of you, you pass
In this, our existence, which is no more than what is perceptible in our entorno
And that which we perceive of that which is around us
And our birthplace and realm, in this physical terrene in which we exist
Within a cosmos, and it being merely a mortal birth for us
Time, you are not all, nothing is all
But can there one day really be nothing, with all this
The object of living some say is for the soul to be set free, one day
To go on to better things or, perhaps, to return to earth
Yours, for all we know, your eternal course, if that is what it is
It could be that that is too long of a time for any one of us to grasp
But something that has been dwelled upon or pondered on before, I am sure
We live sometimes biding our time
Without expecting to await you at the end of our time
You contain unfathomable possible outcomes of infinite destinies of our existence
Ambiguous paths of unknown outcomes of choices made with what we have of you
My mind and my dreams shape with my will
With my will power, and my desires
And desires of what becomes of our time, with you, Time
On this planet that we live on, let it be time well spent
Time and fate are mysteries to us thus far
And our lives lived with our time on this earth
Is the continuation of an ancestral legacy of propagation
Of the paths treaded by our forebears and forefathers
And of a possible begetter and of doings
With what they did with their time and what we have done with ours
Or will do with the time our lives encompase
Mortality pertains to life, and our concept of you Time
Time seems to be definite for most things
But indefinite are places and things
Which are always changing
And, there are unfathomable possible outcomes of and with our time
And through the choices we make with our time
And the results of these choices we make with the time that our lives last
WIth our time alive as sentient beings on this planet and in this universe
And, also, of the results of our choices made with you, Time, with our time
Memories and experiences are obtained from our time alive, from our lives lived
With one’s time on this earth one lives and learns
When, comes the time when one is out of time, at that time
At that hour, if and when it comes that one meets one’s time of rapture, perhaps
Long eternity shall greet that rapture, as some say
It to each of us, it may grasp, with an individual embrace
In any matter, without a doubt, a final resting place each of us shall surely find
Then, 'twill be that the bodies animation had ceased to be active
And our existence had become a bereft of a life lost to this world
And one had become a vestige
Then, we will be far far from you, Time
Perhaps, in another place, an even better place
And, then, some say, and believe, that one shall reside in a place
Where everything is sincere and valorous
Where our heavenly guided essentia shall soar
And there, maybe, one shall remain
And, some say one shall remain with the perfectly eternal
And with unity, veracity, and love
And there these shall shine on, on and on, forever
Ever shining about the supreme throne of the Creator
One way, or the other, proprietorship and all this earthly vanity
One day, for each of us, shall be jilted and shaken off
Thusly, it cannot last all that has passed
And all that will pass and is to come
We may not make it out of this alive, but not all is dashed
Hope is eternal, and for humankind
For all of us, that is something that can last
And that is what I believe, in large part
Has keep humankind moving forward as you, Time, pass
As we wait to find out what will become of us when our time has passed
So, to use one’s time well, with the time we have
And the time we have left is of the utmost
Because, we all will be out-of-time at the end of our time
So, why not live life as if it was all we have
And every second might be our last
And that our time here is the object and purpose of our living
And with our time, I say, it is time to live life to the fullest
Once and for all, all of us

The Bannerets (Mixed up history but with a point, I believe)
by Dan Bickert

Epics, some may say fables of days long gone by
Have made it known to us that once upon a time
There were once two simultaneous rulers
Who were called Agiads and Eurypontids
Descended from the twins Eurysthenes and Procles
And venerated dukes they were said to have been
And as it is told they were Caesar's of Antioch
And we all know of the illustrious Ceasar
And of his glories and of his end as well
These two Great kings
Were lords of that domain and governors of it
And, their legend tells us that in their time
Most wondrous and ne plus ultra conquistadors there were not
And that there was none who was more imperious and high-handed
Below the sun than Eurypontids
And many a well-heeled realm of cap-a-pie
And some might erroneously say benevolent nations
Poorly defended purlieus
Full with bête noire Aryan inhabitants
Agiads did triumph over gloriously
What with his wisdom
And his willing conscripted soldiers
Of troops-at-arms at his very disposal
And, thusly, he was able to expand his empire
And, again, retrogressing to the aforementioned whereabouts
Which that gent had bested over
It was once known as Nicaea
Named after Agiads' arduous walk
With his guerillas at his shoulders as attachés
Through the impotent and corrupt lands
Which he now ruled over after his victory
But, before, these whereabouts had been known as
Punjab, and it was said that Agiads
Had subdued the hill people of Ghaggar-hakra
With ease, relying less on force
And relying more on strategic counsel from his sages
And, as it is recounted
He overmastered and subjugated
All the realms that were once theirs out of necessity
While sparing as many lives as possible
Thus showing his mercy
And he only stopped knowing
That if he continued and went much further
He would have soon have reached the end of the world
And, was it not a tad bit too long to recount in full
I would have already fully pictured and exemplified
As a way to commence and go about introducing this tale
In intricate detail, the ongoings and elegantly intricate strategies
Used in these grand battles which he won
Of this campaign, in which
His eager men-at-arms had carried out war
Without even the slightest faining notion of fear of death
Nor of non-mortal wounds
For the sheer pleasure of the reader
As follows, Agiads had personally won
Through his personal determination and valor
These, the territories, of the Harappan
Through the most wondrous
And marvelous battles that were given forth
Between the less resolved but more sanguinary
Clairvoyants of that land
And the more passionately aggressive Antiochians
Who were said by some to be known
To be possessors of the most potent military at that time
And had the most exuberant warriors of them all
Even out of all of the Greek city-states
And that they had most contributed to the ere their conquests
The yet undiscovered and unvaunted Greek culture and civilization
Of many a foreign land that was hither-to-for left
Without knowledge of it or of it’s achievements
And protectors of all of what Greece was they were said to be
And, this is what is recalled
And recounted of those gents now-days
And shall be in the future, I imagine
But, this is neither hither nor thither
And, then, just like that, victorious
And with a baIadeer named Nearchus
Agiads went forth
Returning by the easiest route possible
Through Porus
Headed to this magnificently and monumentally
Fortified and walled capital city of Antioch
This most gentle of duke’s lingered, however
Surrounded as he went by his host of men-at-arms
Guarding him from and for fear of zealot partisans
Who refused to pay homage to him
Because they refused to accept authority
Onwardly, in this manner
He endeavored, with grit and manner
But, it is told that he went not unattached
Achaemenid, the queen of this defeated kingdom
Agiads did take to be his jointress
In order to improve relations between these two peoples
And, what a grand gala and merrymaking there was
At which hour they were married in Antioch
Upon his return to his home city
And what a cyclone it had been their homecoming
And, so, this tale comes to an end with these three
Being the most renowned rules in history
Of the most illustrious city-state kingdom in history

Bitter Relations, but Still Friends
by Dan Bickert

Still unruly you are!
Do you jest?
For what reason do you behave thusly?
Might not but to only your motions lovers' seasons run
Pedantic and exacting you are
A sour counterpart you make
What should you think of me?
My words and actions have not blinded you
An anti-hero am I
And really not at all your type
Why do you even wish to be with me
Or to stay with me
When you so often criticize how I am
And you so often tell me how you want me to change
And wealth, which you hold so dear
And value so much
Which means little to me
Is nothing more than alchemy
We have such different priorities
Maybe it be best if we go our separate ways
Strike out, each on his own
And see who is actually better off

With Just a Glance (based on the poem “First Love” by John Claire)
by Dan Bickert

Awestruck in a wink
One so impetuous and cloying
Hence pinched my heart en masse
Infatuation blossomed as a nectarous flower
I froze in my tracks and my mind went blank
When I noticed her shoot a glance in my direction
Motion and rotation seemed to be frozen in that instant
And at that moment what could ail?
My mind was completely blank and without a thought
That moment seemed to be and last an eternal second
Then suddenly I was able to conjure words from my mouth
Which did start to make their way out
However, they came out as chords would from a poorly tuned viola
And at the instant at which I spoke
The blood resumed to flow around my body
And, it again began to return round my heart
Which began to beat again
And, then, I took my eyesight quickly away
Without an inclination or reflection
Ideas formed in my mind
The lady had seemed to notice my silent sentiments stir
Are flowers winters choice of victims?
Is love's catch but a sleep chamber
And at each moment winter’s snowy hills to march?
At times flames elevate not to know
I know it is not like that for all
Maybe it is just my experience as a wanderer
And with love and women in my life
Anyhow, I had never regarded before upon
Such a sweet face in all my time
As the one before me
My heart has left its lodging
From lasting infatuation
There to return no more

Thusly
by Dan Bickert

Find another terrain for such deceivers
Warm life is when it is sans pareil!
Something to me speaks that that which should be, satisfy
And that which is necessary be enough
Instinct nourishes desire and many a desire is mislaid
‘Tis one of nature's' bodements that:
'Thus shall be thus'
And as such it is determined
It is authored in closely sealed volumes
Of life's mysteries
And: 'thus is thus’
And subjectively thusly is the quality and property of it
And the interpretation of our fortune in life
It seems that everything living thing is to struggle
Perhaps, pertaining to and stemming from
Notre raison d'être
Or, our reason of being
Et our essence d’etre, peut être
I say: Our essence of being, perhaps
To pray pardon-soi: 'what is?'
Because, it 'Is'
And what does that tell us?
And thusly, and accordingly
It is one of life's closely sealed mysteries
That: for us all, yes is yes, and no means no
And our being quâ being is, and, as such
And who are we?
And where be them and us and youse
In our tenure on this earth?
And, where be the place that we each belong?
And as time wanders onward
Never to meet serenity
Nor to find a lodging in which to rest
Do you feel an oncoming of an élan to come?
With each spring that comes to pass
Blossoms to bring
Humanity is a far superior creature
But, yet, we humans
As we do, even so, we wither away
Each and every one of us
It will happen to us all, one day
To one day pass away
Who knows when
At an unchosen hour, all of us

Alone I Write
by Dan Bickert

I awake with a memory of a dream I had
Just had during a calm night’s slumber
It was of having seen you
And your eyes of splendor in my sleep
And, when I awoke
I rose from my bed and while gathering myself to take on the new day
I told myself to go and take from the warmth of the sun
And its heat in order to warm my soul
And as it rose from its time on the other side of the earth
And began to energize my life form and my being with its rising
And it bringing on a new day and of things to come
With its beams showing through the window frame of my tiny room
I then tried as hard as I could
To let my heartache and disenchantment from the past go
And, after doing my best to do so
Although all I could muster was a half-ass try
I, like I do now-days, I roll one up
And then once rolled
I inhale deeply, holding it in, hitting it hard
Taking a puff from my newly skinned-up morning joint
Which I smoke every single morning, to start my day
I do so then in both times of internal peace
And in times of internal conflict
Which I know will pass as all things do
I then look out at the new day
And with my spirit now imbued
I sit down on my bedside again
And contemplated the facing of another day
With my eyes red and open to the coming of the new day
While viewing my surrounding messy room
To see if my worries had, in fact, fallen, indeed, to the floor
And if that had indeed happened
I would sweep them right out the door
And after seeing nothing of the kind
I realized just how much baggage I still carry in life
And you, my dear, I imagine you far away
Far away, because I have taken off to a far off place
To a new land and am now nowhere near you
And to go to a far off land is what I wanted to do
And you want to stay near to those who you held dear
To your family and where you had grown-up
And not to depart from what you knew
Although we had traveled but never lived abroad together
And from some bedding I imagine you awake
On the other side of the world where it is a different hour
But at some unknown hour to me
I remember us waking after a good lay in
To start our day, as we did most mornings
And, I, already awake, and as incarnated as I can be
For how, and who I am, and with the life I have lead
And with what it has lead me to and also from
And who and what I have become
Being still, at the age where one becomes somewhat wise with the years
Or, it turns out that one has not learned a gosh-darn thing in their life
And that they are now just about able to realize it and are hopelessly lost
I seemed to have hit my mid-life crisis
I am now no longer young, but not yet old
This is where I now find myself
And with the experiences I have had in my life
And with the challenges I have taken on
And the things I have overcome and have yet to overcome
In my life, now, with the opportunities that have been presented to me
And the options I have left
Now, in this life of mine, at this time in my life
Much seems to be oh so much more clear
And I prided myself still, on still being being full of life
And wanting to take the bull by the horns
And make my own path in life
You knew me as such, but when I was much younger and less experienced
And more likely was I then to make a rash decision or to be careless
Or to live for the moment and then skip-out before the last dance
And feeling relatively free in my present condition and in the moment
And the state of mind I am in
And I think I now want some company with whom to shoot the breeze
And I am now looking forward to the pleasures of this new day ahead
While knowing that not everything to come will be rosy
I feel a zest for being alive from deep within
From within my soul and know that if I keep on trying
I will make it, I will get ahead
And I will reach some of my goals in life
While also at the same time realizing what’s at stake
And that really I have nothing to lose
That I should lay it all on the line
At least on the inside I feel this way
And I want to keep this hidden from the outside world
No one on the outside need know what I really think at times
And those who I might go up against in the future
That I might need to confront at some point
I hope they only see on the outside
Me smiling, joking, see me as easy going
See the light hearted side of me
And in this moment I am aware and conscious of my current situation
And that also future adventures
And great new experience do still lie ahead for me, of this I am sure
And I do have the strength to take on what may come, both good and bad
While still, I try, from time to time
In the back of my mind to interpret correctly and understand
And make sense of what I had dreamed and what it meant to me
In what was a very peaceful and restful sleep
And, while contemplating this again
In this very morning
I wonder what it would be like
If you were to be mine once again
While a little heavy hearted and saddened still
To know that this will never come to pass
And that that which was will never be again
And that this is for sure and that what we had
Has indeed passed and is now over forever, that is for sure
And that you will never be with me again or again be mine
But, I know that it is best to never say never
And to never say never again
I try my hardest to remember the good times we had together
And to forget the tough ones we passed through and rough ones we had
We both new an end to what was ours would come
We both knew it would happen
And, I, now remembering how it was when I wanted what you wanted in life
It seems to me that we had not only begun to grow apart
But that we had both changed while we were together
I do still think we learned a whole hell-of-a lot living and being together
And not long after getting together
And being together, that had begun to happen
That we had begun to grow apart
And now that there is nothing left of what was between us but memories
It seems to me now that so much from our time together
And its importance to us both has been lost on me or forgotten
Both of the good and the bad times that we had together and the ups and the downs
And I ideaize this poem still, this one that you are now reading
That I have been putting together in my head since just after I woke-up
But, before I begin to write it down
And keep it for a time by my bed on the nightstand
Which I plan to do as soon as I wrap my head around some things
And am ready to get it down on paper
And get some things figured out, as best I can
I know I have got to get my shit together at some point
And that writing things down helps me get it out
While I was still sitting on the side of my bed thinking
I let my mind wander and my thoughts to freely pass through by
I think of far off places where I had once been, some by chance
When what I wanted to do and did was wander
And before grabbing my pen which I do this very instant
I feel grateful to have been born and want in writing be optimistic
So, now I begin to put down my thoughts on paper
Of what I have had in my head
And wanted to get out, so as to now outwardly expresses it
I had been sitting and thinking for a time
With, yes, my arms crossed an a little closed off for a while
And as I now have come to know and realize
It is best that we are now apart
And no longer together for more than one reason
And realizing this, and internalizing it, and after mulling it over
And then after taking a few other things into account
For the first time in my life I feel aware of what I can do
By myself and for myself being single
And that I no longer wish to wake with you by my side, as before
And while still, in my mind, with these thoughts continuing to come
I write them down as fast as I can as I also ideaize
This bit of writing that I have put together and that you now, reader, are reading
Which is this poem written here in which I am expressing my thoughts
As best as I can, and am able to, from where I am coming, and have been
And from what I have lived and been through
And from what I know, and I know that there is so much I do not know
Then after having finishing it up I stand up
And go to the open window
And take a look at the world outside
At the roaring traffic and the bullo of the city
From my peaceful room out onto the hectic stage outside
The craziness that we all must make it through in this city of Phnom Phen
And I know that with my two hands to do things with
And my two feet to go to and get me places with
And my body that still has a lot of strength and life left in it
And, also, with my heart that still feels love and is full of emotion
That with my head as screwed on as straight as I can maintain it
That I can make happen for myself what I desire
And hope for, that I will and can make it
Or I’ll get darn near close in this life of mine
Through effort and dedication
And, then, I rise with notebook in hand
And after writing this poem down
And let in some of the world outside
For a time, and for the time being
And feel like I am not alone and not by myself
Knowing I have friends around
While still scribbling down this poem as I move around my room
Thinking, and writing and putting it all down
Then, I suddenly lay down and hold the pad above me
And I close my eyes for an instant, to take it all in
And my heart longs for anything else inspiring
And I take a deep calming breath to settle myself
Perhaps, to now center myself for a moment
Both from my often careless self and from this hard knock life
And the shit the world outside gives at times
And from others that could give a damn
And for a brief moment, for the first time
I begin to think of and call myself a lonely roaming poet
And when I was with you, and living in a fixed location, and comfortable
I never wanted to, or had the inclination to be one
Or to write or to be a poet at all
How things have changed since then
And now that I am without you
The words just seem to come out
And flow from my mind to pen to paper

The Visage
by Dan Bickert

The weathered face
That has felt the harsh cutting winter's wind
And the sun's arduous blaze
The eyes that have seen through the haze
The inanition that you have within you
And that you feed upon
Do not fret after knowledge that I may have not
What I have are evenings of disillusionment
It is that, that often keeps me sleepless at night
I am he who is depressed at the thought of futility
And of being bootless (useless) in a muddy world

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This Poems Story

just some stuff I wrote